fin:
Don’t sleep with me you will surely regret it.
Don’t: no matter how much your boner begs you to.
Keep your distance from me.
It may just save your life,
Please save me some dessert, I’m sorry I am late, but I am on my way
BE CAREFUL TO NOT CRASH THE CAR, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK WE CAN AFFORD TO FIX IT
Donna wrote me from California to tell me about the beautiful letter
(that I sent her on her wedding)
The weather in California is beautiful this time of year.
Tell the dogs to stop barking, and that I’m coming home soon.
I know they miss me, and I hope they will forgive me for my extended departure.
I am truly sorry for the drama I have caused with my emotions.
I hope you may too soon forgive me.
There is nothing that comforts me more than to see your face.
There is love enough in your face for the whole world.
Remember that loss every time you frown.
My fondest addition to this family was you, I’m sorry I forgot.
All my love and adoration for the rest of my days,
Tim.
:X
The gravitational pull of the mall pulls me right into the hot topic every time I’m within seven blocks.
I was working at the Disney store when high school musical was released.
The poetic irony here is the number of times I had to hear the soundtrack and teach others the choreography.
I definitely think Miley is hotter than Hannah.
It might be the cheap wig that Mrs Montana wears, but it may just be that I prefer brunettes to blondes.
I should have auditioned with Disney more so that I could have ended up with Ashley Tisdale’s perfectly curled blonde locks.
Between the high school musical songs and all the screaming girls begging for a Hannah Montana wig, my time working for Disney was bearable,
But no wonder I’m a flaming faggot.
Life sucks: movement three
A car crashed in five seconds.
“Where did you come from?”
Said the park bench to the old man who was taking rest upon it.
The car crashed right through the window
Of the post office
Heard on the other side of town
In the wedding chapel next door someone said,
“I should have told you this a long time ago baby, I lo…”
From
Across the street of the post office,
The old man watched the car continue to crash into the wedding chapel.
“fidem oculorum timere” was inscribed above the doors of the little chapel, but trust me: it didn’t make any marriage better.
It was a Sunday that smelled of cut grass
and the old man could still taste blood in his mouth.
(From a vacation he had taken to Las Vegas this past weekend)
“Don’t say nothing about it”
The old man said to the park bench.
And upon uttering this, everyone in the park wept.
Just as a dog can smell fear of a stranger,
It was as if God herself had jumped down to the earth with a sudden thud.
The hopeless keys of love
knew we were “sadder but wiser”
And next year he will surrender that permanent frown on his face for a crown in heaven.
Aurora’s red stilettos are still stuck in the windows of the post office and wedding chapel,
And Darcy still thinks about Las Vegas.
The newspaper the next day was read by every person in town:
It was 8am when a car drove off the road, through the post office, and into the wedding chapel on main. Many were agog that none had died.
The event was such a spectacle investigators nearly overlooked an older man who had died of heart failure on a park bench across the street.
In an official statement the police chief has confirmed that the deceased gentleman was the licensed owner of the car, and the red stilettos from the scene of the crash were used in a multiple stabbing in the next town over last weekend.
The car used in the crash is still missing,
And trust me:
none of this would have ever happened,
If he had not gone to Vegas that weekend.