Society
So there was a girl in my school that got offened by everything. I walked to school today wearing my goonies shirt. She walks up to me claiming my shirt offened her. I asked her how it offened her. She goes the swords on your shirt are offensive. I got all confused and was like im sorry? she goes you heard me now change it. i went like lady im not gonna change for you. She gasps and says how dare you not listen to me. I looked at her and said look at my eyes does it look like i care? she scoffs and says no? I say exactly now get the hell outta my face brat. The princple later called me down and said lemme see your shirt. I showed him . he turns to the blonde chick and says how the heck is goonies offensive. she goes shes premoting swords. he says i could go back to class. and from then on she has a personal vendetta to try and get me in trouble because my shirts are too offensive. I one decided to accutally wear a shirt that is offensive so she can acutally be offened for real. I wore a shirt tthat had a unicorn with a knife attacted to the shirt and it says i will cut you. now mind you i didnt get in trouble because it was the same blonde. sure my shirt was offensive but at that point i was down there for two whole weeks straight with her claiming my shirt was so when it acutally was for once he decided to let it slide . Now on the day of my goonies he laughed and said wow this socity is truly done for if your offended by an old movie shirt.
Can I pretend
can I pretend my grandmother didn't die this week
can I pretend my dog is still alive
can I pretend didn't lose a friend I called sister
can I pretend I'm living the life of my dreams
can I pretend I'm okay
can I pretend I'm a guy
can I pretend I'm fine
can I pretend life is full of sunshine and rainbows
can I pretend my smiles are genuine and not fake
can I pretend I didn't tell anyone my secrets
can I pretend I'm okay
can I pretend that I can freely tell everyone how I feel
can I pretend that my family is nice
can I pretend that my sisters are nice to me
can I pretend I have a bunch of friends I can count on (I actually have four I can only count on its use to be five)
to answer all this YES I CAN and I have before!!
Thought process 1
My mom thinks she knows best when really all I want to be is a dude. so when she said she would get me guy clothes, I was happy. I also dislike humans now because they are so selfish. People never realize I want both gender clothing. I also know not to trust adults again because of my mom's friend named sam. I mean if she wants to say something to me, I will expect her to say it to my face, not to other people. she can be as bad as my mother sometimes when it comes to lying like she never asked for her phone back nor did she tell glen to talk to me. The next time someone tells me to express myself I am going to say screw you (except a few people I really trust) because people will lie. Right now I am not going to trust anyone. What I do is what I do and it's n one's concern what I do and I'm getting a little sick and tired of people telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't do. By the way at the party no one mentioned cleaning it up and why should we? we were invited as guests, not as helpers and frankly, I was exhausted from the balloons. The first thing Alex did was boss us around and I am getting sick of that as well.
But in all honesty, I'm getting sick of everything (not my friends obviously). my mom these days be like stay from them, or drop these people or some bullshit.
Correction
I need to correct myself these days because I have no idea what I’m doing these days. I’m always second-guessing myself. I wonder why I try to sometimes. I try so hard to make everyone around me happy because I don’t want anyone to see how miserable I am. But to be honest this fake face I wear every day is beginning wear and crack. Only a few people know how I truly feel. I try to make a few friends because I know that they will leave me eventually to leave me. There once came to a point in my life where I had no friends and my stuffed animals became my friends. at this point in time, i have friends but sometimes I feel like they just push me away.
Okay
so there is a saying I’m not happy I’m just smiling and it makes me wonder of how true it is. My parents think they understand what I go through but in all honesty, they understand nothing about me anymore. Last time we talked we had a huge fight and it was the last time I tried being honest with them because I’m not ready for those fights we always have them no matter what I do. anything I do with them is never good enough
Tired
People don’t realize how many times I’ve said I’m fine. I’m one of those kinds of people who will try to appease everyone but eventually, it hurts me to the point of leaving everything behind and not looking back ever. But in reality, we both know I couldn’t ever do that even if I ever tried cuz I couldn’t bring myself to leave anyone I ever care about behind.