You don't know how many times he made me smile, you don't know how many times he's cheered me up,you don't know how much advice he's given me when I felt like ending my life, you don't know how many times he made me smile. He makes me happy, sure he makes me sad sometimes but He Makes Me Happy!

I love you.

I love your smile.

I love your personality.

I love how you're always ready to make my day when I'm sad.

I love how you can be weird and act stupid without a care in the world.

I love those dimples and how your eye crinkles when you laugh.

I love everything about you.

How is it possible to fall in love with a guy you've never dated. Why is it the guy you've been best friends with.

You said you love me out of nowhere and I said it back.

I didn't know what type of love you meant.

Now I'm here writing my heart out in hope that you'll see this.

But you won't.

My friends say "move on he's a dick" but I can't.

I just can't seem to let go and I know I'm hurting myself by doing this but I can't help it.

I love you so bad it's killing me to the point where I feel like I can't breath.

I just want to be in your arms, but I can't.

But it's okay because,

I love you.

Sometimes I wonder why I can't be pretty like all the other girls. Why I'm so fat and ugly. Why my hair is not pretty. I wonder why guys use me just so they can take advantage of me. Why they say "I love you" then disappear. Why I'll never be good enough for them. I wonder why I can never be happy. I wonder why I'm still living. It hurts you know my heart hurts. No one understands they say I'm too "young" that its all an illusion that I just want to be like those couples I see but they're wrong . I just want to be loved, I just want somebody to make me feel worth it. To make me feel beautiful because I can't do this on my own. It's embarrassing because I don't really know how it feels to be loved because I'm always being played with. I just want someone to love me for who I am to help me with my insecurities. I've been fake smiling for to long and I feel like I'm going to breakdown like I did 2 weeks ago. I felt so alone like no one could help me. I felt my heart shatter because no matter how much I tried to fix it- it ends up broken again. Like this pain isn't going away its ripping me to pieces second by second,minute by minute, day by day and I went back to cutting again. Last night I held a bottle of aspirin and tried to end it all but I couldn't I had the pills in my hand but I couldn't take the next step. The step that would set me free from this misery. This misery of lies, betrayal and heart break some one save me because I'm drowning and my lungs are giving out. Please someone save me from myself please....

I'm just a girl trying to find a way out of her siblings shadows. I'm just a girl trying to reach for a love that I can't only wish for. I'm just a girl who can't get her head out off the books. I'm just a girl in love with her bestfriend. I'm just a girl who no one knows, I'm just a girl...