My secret place where the darkness forms;

A simplistic place where most decide to roam;

Indecisiveness finds its home here;

Fear circulates behaving like a puppeteer;

Visors replacing clear sight;

Strength slowly taken, no longer able to fight;

Fleeting thoughts of possibilities;

Quickly rushed away by illusions of stability;

Distant echoes of a life that once was;

The slow painful injections of the bitter sweetness that now, is and always was;

The darkness is my friend;

It follows me at every turn;

Light makes its plan to free me… but the dwelling has other plans to keep that consistent burn.

Your words cold;

Oh how they hurt;

The feeling of breathlessness;

No voice to be heard;

I beg for solace;

Instead given a broken promise;

You pretend it’s in my head;

You act is if I misread;

For moments I feel hypnotized by your screens;

Giving into the illusion that I am your queen;

It’s not too long before it wears off;

The stench of I am sorry;

Oh how it rolls off your tongue like a sweet cherry;

Pause, fast forward, rewind;

Stuck in this continuous cycle of flying blind.

My exterior shows no signs of wreckage;

I am a master at concealing my defects and self afflicted bondage;

Do I dare ask is it now my time to enjoy the intricate vessels of my story;

Taste the sweet waters till I am intoxicated with no more worries;

Piece by piece like a puzzle the beginning of metamorphosis finally begins;

The posers expunged from my psyche end on end;

The revelation of my golden light;

The illumination of the shades that have settled in as squatters no longer shining as bright;

As my cocoon departs ways and my true form comes to be;

My one goal now is to find my perfect tree;

My wings now full grown riveting colors often found on the most perfect noon day;

Maybe more like a raindrop hit with the mesmeric light of the suns rays;

Soaring proud with only love to exonerate any presence resembling what could have, should have or may;

My sites now set on planting my seeds;

There is so much to choose from must I only choose one way to be freed?

Who is this I see standing alone?

Why does her heartbeat sound like a hollow hole?

Her tears dating back to ones before her

Carrying their burdens as if she is the rightful owner;

The river no longer running towards her

The separation becoming further and further;

With no thought or apprehension my wings begin to spread , and surround this dimmed light , nourishing it, feeding it and keeping it warm;

Ensuring the growth and ultimate ignition of a flame so bright no one can detour;

My perfect tree on this perfect day

Embracing the oneness many keep so far away.

I saw you coming and tried to run the other way;

You were an angel of light who had been casted away;

Your words sweet like a drip of honey;

Your touch gentle knowing it's exact journey;

You are the perfect combination of innocence and sin;

The obliteration of a well kept garden of the light within;

Even your sweat, cold and unkept;

Aroused my inner silence that has now become inept;

In your presence I am wild and untamed;

In your world my grace and elegance can no longer be sustained;

You have released the hidden darkness within;

I now enjoy the taste of sin.

Through our upsets we become aware how life can be;

Sometimes much like the undercurrent that resides in the blue sea;

We are aware what we need to do;

But choose a different path out of ease and a false sense of subdue;

But what if I told… you can have what you dream?

A perfect life filled with contentment without any need;

Would you believe?

Or remain in disorientation following the other dimmed lights lacking the faith to achieve?

What if I told you life can be simple?

Appearing impossible at times to smooth out the ripples.

Think of it this way;

You can intentionally place yourself on the wave;

Blending, colliding with others who share your silent knowing that you are saved;

Enjoying the elegant perfection of

the water;

Embracing each sensation of serenity;

Breathing in the crisp air; feeling it run through you while providing a protective blanket of tranquility;

Upon your destination you land,

Now able to feel each kernel of the warm vibrant sand;

Looking ahead ,strong and equipped knowing how to withstand , writing ones own script;

A difference, a subtlety, no longer obscure

Settling into yourself and being absolutely sure;

To be grateful is a work of art

Just know its never too late to start.

It's that place I call home;

Dark, damp and lonely;

No place anyone would choose to roam;

The outside scares me;

But inside I don't want to be alone;

There is a struggle within me that needs connection but fears being left out in the cold;

I get out of bed with plans for days ahead;

Instead find myself immobilized and under my bedspread;

Searching for my cloak of disguise;

Keeping up this charade letting no one know the battle that pulls me from inside;

The life force of energy fills me but the world depletes me;

They all don't know the ghosts that haunt me secretly;

The pain, loss, insecurities that coexist under the surface;

The strength it takes to keep them at bay it's like managing a circus;

They don't know how one misspoken word can put an ache so deep in my heart that I question my own purpose;

The one thing I do know… is I am more than this darkness.

There's a pull and push between us;

A perfect synchronization of immeasurable love and animalistic lust.

It's like that feeling one gets when at the edge of a mountain about to fall;

The breath shallow and quickened

Heart pounding, nothing else in recognition.

Sweat forming like magical crystals

Cooling and electrical;

Everything around blurred only linear vision;

In that moment there has to be a decision.

Do I fall in or pull back out of fear of attrition? My fears float away like strings of musical notes and I fall right into you.