an open window

the light shines in

I look at the stars

and think of you

as the moon creeps in

past the thin glass

brightening the dark

and filling up the room

a warm cup of coffie

in my freezing hands,

so pale against the moonlight

and the sky full of stars

I take a small sip of coffee

and then another

thinking of you

and what could have happened

The possibilities

of you and me together

spending our lives intertwined

both hearts beating as one

for so much longer

then just that one summer

when you promised me

that this will last forever

So I look at the moonlight

and suddenly shiver

as the cold wind wraps around me

and again, I quiver

And as the time passes

moving relentlessly forward,

I stare at the clock

watching the hand of it twitch

Slowly moving past midnight

and leaving today behind...

So I close the window

and head to bed

Wrapping myself around

a different body, a different heart

he now keeps warm at night

and brings me hope

for a better tomorrow

from the one you promised

and never made true

my summer romance

that ended with the last ray of sun

***

All those alterations

That make up my strange creations

Masks of white and gold

For my eyes sparking soft

Different moods of temptations

Covered with my soul’s determinations

Here I stand in a golden light

Performing for the masses

And struggling with my dark sunglasses

For without a mask

I can no longer pass this task

Lost behind all my alterations

My strange, strange creations…

***

fire when you touch my skin

fire when your lips reach mine

fire spreading in your smoldering eyes

sing to me of the summer nights,

when the cold reaches my veins

when it hurts my hands,

tell me about the sun

and the almost nightless days

whisper to me how it was

the warm breeze touching my skin,

tell me this and so much more

my scorching lover

while the Winter cold

spreads under our hearts

and under the covers

the snow falling to the ground

chilling me to the bone

clouding my vision

and making me numb...

keep me warm to all ends

with your blazing loving arms

and a burning gaze

to devour me slowly...

spread the fire my love

so we can burn together

and turn to ash

under these white sheets

and the silvery moon

with a heartless night

and a Winter's tale

setting the world on fire

in a tight embrace

feeling like we belong in Heaven

while stuck endlessly in Hell

She stands in the forest

these woods so dark,

She smile as snow fills her way

as it fills her lungs,

She walks ahead,

body in shivers

still happy as she twirls

and quivers

Dancing in the deep

white snow,

that shines and sparkles

like small, cold diamonds

Surrounded tenderly

by precious

flowing snowflakes,

a heaven of stars

and a moon so bright

That smile of hers

it slowly widens

as she spins almost soaring

faster and faster...

a hooded coat

covering her body

the color of fresh blood

with red velvet gloves

and soft,

scarlet lips to match

She waits for me

in this cold, dark night

so I rush over,

running through woods

on this silent,

snowy evening

to be by her loving side.

Down under the willow

she stands under the tree

hiding herself underneath

the roots of her heart

It's a big hill that she's on

rocks slowly rolling down,

she doesn't move

she doesn's speak

afraid of the avalanche

of her own dreams

Tell me mighty willow

why do you cry,

why do you weep?

Is it the Witnter's wind

that chills you to the bone?

or has the passing time

wronged you,

scraping its way

right to your wooden core?

are you bleeding inside,

roots too ragged

no longer holding you

to the ground ?

or are you lost, just like me ?

Don't weep, my weeping willow

there's no need for this sadness

you are strong and beautiful

and you will make it through the madness.

Down under the willow

she stands under the tree

sharing her heart

with the broken tree.

Those toxic fumes

surrounding your presence

my breath of life,

pressed against me

with his fierce touch,

so smoldering

and yet strangely gentle,

burning my skin slowly

right to its deep, soft core...

I stand in your arms

bleeding inside,

with every sharp word

that comes out of your mouth,

a mouth so sweet

when given a taste,

and yet so deadly under the lips

This wasn't good for me

This was addictive

and pained me deeply,

This thing, that you so bravely

and without doubt

tenderly called love

That love,

it wasn't giving

but the kind of a feeling

that just still kept on living

so toxic from within

left me unsatisfied

and shattered

because of your dark, venomous spite

I carry you in my thoughts

I carry you in my dreams

I am never without you in my heart

where one thought goes, the other one follows

and it always leads to you

You are the cause of my thoughts

you are the meaning

you are the exception to a rule

and a reason for dreaming

I carry you in my thoughts

I carry you in my dreams

I am never without you my love

There is no dreaming

and no hope to hold on to

if you are not here in my thoughts,

there are no laughs,

and there is no pleasure,

without you in my mind, in my heart

And here is the biggest secret of my soul

the deepest treasure that I hold,

the root of my heart and

the song on my lips

I carry you in my thoughts

I carry you in my sweet love

your love,

..............................................................................

Inspired by the poem : [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

By E. E. CUMMINGS

(if it wasn't obvious by now ;) )

pain slips through my veins,

surges through my heart

rests upon my chest,

I gaze at the stars and feel

the emptiness that you left behind

I feel hollow

I feel drained

so pointless it seems

when you're not around,

so meaningless and forced

to smile,

to hope,

to live,

and yet I do,

I smile through my pain

I hope through my worries

and take breaths of life

that make me go on,

I am relentless in staying afloat,

even when I drown in my past

fighting the waves,

uncertain of my future

and fearing the things that make me whole,

that make me human

because the same things that glue me together

are also tearing me apart...

I am here world

look at me,

even though I'm broken

I'm still here...

caring,

loving,

feeling,

I am part of a bigger plan

that I do not comprehend,

slowly filling in the gaps

and always looking for clues

I am here world

still here,

still smiling,

carrying a heart

capable of fitting

all of this hot mess...

I am here world, here I am...

there's something

just on the edge

of my soul

it's twisting

it's moving

it really feels odd

it seems to be

broken

and damaged

somehow

so toxic

so harmful

demolishing

me through

I can sense it

it's bending,

it's growing,

and changing its corse

I think it's moving

it's scratching

it's tracing its path

from the souls

of my feet

to the tip

of my heart

...........

yours truly,

pain

.

I traveled to the cities of the fallen sun

I caught the shadows

I pulled them to their feet

I whispered for the moon

I screamed at my body

I roared at my heart

I made the walls tumble...

you were there, where the sun had fallen

you had the shadows

you had them at your feet

you screamed

you roared

you made

my body was overpowered by you

my heart was haunted

my walls turned into dust

you made the world disappear

for just a moment

and then I was in the same dark place

yet I did enjoy the light

and your understanding

you wanted me

and I didn’t know what to do

with all the light

so I got addicted to it

I spread it on my skin

I let it soaked my heart

I enrolled each and every fiber of mine

in this moment with you

I let you want me

I let you care

I took what wasn’t mine

and I sank

why was drowning so good with you?

because it was the first time

the water took me in

I let them take me

but the tides were too deep

when I reached the shore

and all was left was the sand

but I’m weird

I need water

to breath

.