is this what love feels like?

feathered eyes

with crystal skies

brushing fingertips

as the cold tickles at our blushed skin.

is this what love feels like?

lullabied breaths

sheltered depths

of mingled thoughts

as our quiet souls drift into lucid paradise.

is this what love feels like?

knowing heartbeats

wrapt in thin sheets

comfort chilling our bones

till we are ingrained with the memory of this night

the night where i questioned:

is this what love feels like?

Smooth circles—

firm and light—

I slip into a state of gurgles

where my body melts into yours

and my eyes close

before they open again to see the beauty of the stars

as they reflect the clearness of

smooth circles—

firm and light.

The stars whisper our names

calling out our deepest traits

till fate plays along our skin

(flickering like golden goosebumps).

The stars harmonize our souls

telling us to look up

and gaze upon the future of what could be

...us happy, together.

The stars hold us

leaving our souls imprinted

with an afterimage of a time

where time was hidden in the expanse of the universe.

And the stars

the stars

the stars

~I never would have pegged myself for one to believe in horoscopes.

Question: How am I supposed to find love in this chaos?

Answer: You don't.

—

Hurting—

from all of the parts of me being forced together and pulled apart

"use your heart and your brain"

"wear a mask, numb the pain"

"stay connected, stay away"

it's always a guessing game.

Healing—

from all of the trauma of my past

so that I can be passionate without feeling shame

(I'm learning how to live: clinking glasses filled with stardust, breathing Aurora borealis while the colours fill in the holes of my personality, feeling the fire of the sun and the weight of the water as I let it all dance around me (I am invincible not invisible))

Loving—

letting life kiss my lips while I slip into blissful future reminisce.

(finding gaps in the timeline of what is supposed to be and chasing white rabbits down holes of mystery, only to come out into the same reality but as a completely different person. Holding onto hands that lead me into the night and dancing along the stars to land on the biggest one of all and become reborn).

—

Question: So should I stop looking for love?

Answer: Love and life are fateful lovers.

And when our stars collided

it was like fireworks

and our ashes rained down

the stardust burying into the barren soil

giving life to two blossoming flowers

the daisy and the aster.

(and they ran wild like the land and the sky was theirs to traverse)

disorientation and calculation

my breath catches in yours

as you linger in the alcoves

of my body

and etch those eyes

—those sky Blue, endless blue, eyes—

into the earthy state of mine

as I am reminded of why

breaths need't be held

but let go

as we breathe into each other's

forgotten paradise.