Two days ago was an unusually sunny day. i went downstairs with sophia and had a walkie. we crossed the street to the small plaza, where in sunny days, the old guys dance . expecting to hear the metronome music that gets them going, we approached the square, only to hear a pack of ducks. it was in fact three old guys , teaching each other to play.the saxophone. none of them could.acheive precision with.their armature, and the high notes sounded like.dying cats. still, i cant.blame them, they decided at an old age to go for a dream.

my baby has never seen a saxophone before. i keep mine boxed, as it is too noisy to play in-house ... and i suck..

my.baby.stood by.the kenny-Gs and was mesmerised. shiny stuff, noisy stuff.

i could not tear her away.

but here it gets better.

later that.evening, i was selecting some music for her, and the album i had , had a picture of lester young. the prez jimself standing, smiling and holding his tenor.

my baby saw that and got excited. demanding."more, more" when the song was done. i went back to my playlist. sadly, my baby had no interest in john coltrane kr sydney bachet. i frantically searched for softer stuff, landing.the prize on Stan Getz. i am not that much of a fan, but she got interested with the girl from ipanima. of course, the fact that Getz's black and white may have sealed the deal more than anythung else..

got a 4-day break,

an offering of largess,

from the date-keeping gatekeeper.

I am not big on celebrating,

and hate the fake and tinsle.

but the sun is shining, oddly,

so armed with diapers,

a bottle,

and an out of season strawberry,

we ran through the morning.

in the children’s arcade,

among plastic trains, and baloons,

she ate some rice by herself,

and it was then that i saw it.

the phantom ghost,

that hard to see apparition,

that symbolic representation,

in short, my friends,

I DISCOVERED CHRISTMAS.

so best wishes to you all,

dear prosers, prosettos, prosettes,

prosters and prosaños.

may you too have joy,

and warmth in this time,

may you find a holiday as well,

it is always good, after all,

to find an internal festival,

even if it is hard to locate it.

Merry Christmas!

the stars say,

the first one,

that sees the tiny eye of a baby, staring at them through the abyss,

could make a wish,

and it will be later come to pass,

stars are like that,

sentimental fools...

reduced-salt mozzarella,

her eyes shine,

unwrap the precious slice,

skewer rolled up strips,

my baby now asks for more!!!

II

I've got no ring of power, to bind anyone in the shadow,

I got no shiny gold watch,

nor a pocket camera,

nor a suicide pill, in case I'm caught,

that's too late anyway.

I don't know the brand, but they sure are useful.

the small packet has drawings of the aquatic birds.

baby-safe wetwipes,

to clean her hands after she touches the many MANY things that I would shy away from.

it’s a ritual almost, when we go out for walkies: get shoes, mosquitto repellent, hat.

now, where is daddy’s cellphone?

here it is , good job.

where are the keys?

there they are.

and...where are the penguins?

she points at the packet, which normally rests on top of the piano. among the other junk.

yesterday, we went out before and after dinner.

she loves running around and showing off her toys.

I guess I forgot to put the packet on the piano, cause now I have penguins in my pocket.

i sit in the corner, aftee coming from work. i had a terriblevday. the kids are little monsters and i've got some news...

my baby playing running around. she goes a mile a minute, and you get sweaty. AND SHE’S only seventeen months old!!!

anyway, it was not neglect that drove me to sit.

no. it was a terrible phone call.

i don’t want to bore you with details. let’s just say, a good friend is dying and it is not much that can be done.

so i sit there, talking with a friend, trying between us to sort out what we can do and how bad things are getting for him.

all of a sudden, my little cheesecake monkey-princess walks over, takes my right hand and puts it on her cheek, and gives me the cutest smile in the history if the universe.

she’s never done that before. but she saw me talking, and she anticipated that i was worried and upset, and she came over to cheer me up!!

can you believe that?! this little girl i have gave me the “It’s going to be ok” look!

so i can say how blessed i am...

teddy bears:

doctor bear, polar bear, baby bear, purplr bear, small panda, and the now immobilized walking panda.

duckies:

three bath duckies (red, yellow, green)

the duckie with the rattling wheel,

the duckie with the eggs,

the music box duckie,

the wibdup duckie.

dogdogs:

brown dog,

big snoopy,

small snoopy,

big doggie with the book

rabbits:

the tutu sisters (pink, white)

the rabbit towel you appropriated.

the singing guy (with the fur hat)

piggies:

peppa,

the plushy one with the flower.

michael the goose (had a serious mental collapse, doesnt complete the sentence).

penguin.

kitty

minion guy

wambat (he is not a dogdog!)

dolphins:

big dolphin

pink dolphin

elephants:

the pink plushy

the pink jingly,

the tiny green one.

the blue guy with shapes and a crank.

Minnie mouse

Buddy.

cars:

the momy car

the dady car

tiger car,

small windup

fire truck

blue car,

pink car with holes,

yellow remote controlled crazycar

blue BMW

the big toy box,

the small toy box with the telephone,

the cashier register

tiger

ballballs:

minnie mouse ball

blue lion ball,

shapes and colors ball,

basket ball,

velcro balls,

sand bucket with mattock, hoe, rake and sand molds (ice cream, fishie, stegosaurus star)

the bristly bricks

duplo set (staring the squaking lego lady)

plastic fruit (apple, strawberry, potato, turnip, brocoli, peach, banana, cabbage, corn, grapes)

fabric fruit from ikea (onion, mushrooms, tomato carrot okra (?!?!)

cleaning set(broom, mop, trawel)

work set (adjustible wrench, hammer, file, screw, bolt)

pianos:

piano mat

green piano,

blue piano,

the kitty orango piano.

xylophone piano

the black flute,

harmonica,

the drum

mr. flamingo

rattler

the "boat"

the cogs and socket set

the wooden bricks (now held in the toolbox from the  work set).

spin the top

fishies:

orange-white

green

blue,

pink

yellow with polkadots,

zebra fishie.

windups-

kangaroo, mouse, chicken, frog

monkeys:

annoying monkey

monkey with apple,

monkey with pear

monkey with banana,

monkey with watermelon (?!?!)

brown monkey.

white monkey

plane

glider

mr. green cow.

mr. happy-sleepy

soft cubes

more soft cubes

abacus toy

hedgehog

rattler star

rings

hoops

the plastic cups

the clock+blocks toy (those that survived)

fit in the numbers toy

crayons

the foot measuring tool you appropriated

the atom

the atom knockoff

the scooter

the "horse" with musical buttons

puzzles:

taxi

monkey

lion

tiger

the tent

a zillion stickers

the tunnel

The indoor slide

inflatable pool

playdough injecter + molds

that feather kicking thing (we bought it today)

baby frisbee

turtle (which can be motorized, using the butterfly mobile)

mr. octopus

traffic light

purple monster+ egg

dinosaurs:

stegosaurus,

brontosaurs,

ankylosaurus

brontosaurus, windup,

leftover pasta, i eat,

the only light of the fridge blinds me.

i had so little time,

and so before throwing ,

my baby’s food,

all the leftovers,

that she didn’t take ,

and there is too much of that,

I take out, and eat.

my baby refused banana pancakes,

pasta with tomato sauce,

sweet potato, pumpkin,

french toast, greens, yogurt,

mutton and onion mash,

rice, noodles, bread, potatos.

all these in small portions,

which i hoped she’ll take later.

and she wouldn't.

all these morsals,

make up my late night meal,

before i start doing the dishes.

standing over the spread in darkness...

I just called to say I loooove youuu.

I sang. I was too young to understand. The lyrics had little meaning to me. Just a series of negative statements regarding occasions that Stevie expected to call his cherie amour, only that none of them was current.

The word ‘Just’ has this diminutive effect. It just lessens the message. Makes it less dramatic.

But why add just? Why Stevie, why?

Why not say "i called to say I love you"?

I can't believe a genius like Stevie wonder would fail to notice this, or fit this just for meter's sake. The guy is a perfectionist, I hear. God bless him.

So why 'just'?

Was the just a way to diminish the moment of your call, or the message you were convaying?

In any case, years passed, and I was looking for stuff to add to the playlist , which I turn on during play time with my baby.

It was joy to hear it, and see my little one dance .

The new school year is going to start, and for the first time in almost 9 months, I will be away from her. I am already going crazy...

Now i came to conclude that the use of ‘just’ is neither of the options i stated before. It is not a way to diminish the occasion, nor the message.

It is a way to dimminish and even imply apology for the way of delivering the message.

I just called.... Would be Stevie’s regret that he is unable to cross some distance and to exclaim, in person , his great love.

What a terrible feeling it is, to feel a need to say something so deep, only to be unable to do it!

Perhaps the negative statements in the verse are regrets of occasions missed.

That would be an intimate thing, known only to two people, and yet felt and lived by so many .

It’s just the power of words..