For a long time, I was friends with silence.
But then it became the thing I feared the most.
I was scared of all the hidden skeletons that were slowly coming out.
My mind became home to mermaids and dragons.
And that made everything okay.
I was happy with the familiarity
Instead of running in circles,
Trying to figure out the cacophony of emotions ringing in my head,
Trying to find a higher mountain,
Hearing whispers telling me I was meant for something more.
But little did I know, things were rearranging themselves for me.
I had been crying my eyes out while a new path was being forged for me.
It wasn’t the beginning of the end, it was the the beginning of something good.
- Rania G. | stepping stones
Succumb
I am sick of you always putting my candles out, even the smallest ones that I am proud of.
I am sick of being an emotional wrecking ball ready to destroy everything it touches.
I am sick of being ungraceful, ungrateful of how far I have come.
I need to get back to my hiding places again and sort things out.
I used to have so many opinions.
Now I don’t want to deal with anything at all.
I don’t even care that the world is ending.
I once played with fire.
Now, I am drowning in my own guilt.
Talking to you once felt like home,
but now I walk on eggshells around you.
I finally let my blue veins show,
but you chose to let me go.
Now, I will let you fall into the sea of other people that I used to know.
As I swallow my pride and curl my fists, I wear the most convincing smile and say hello. It stings my tongue, but I need to end the drama.
I have come to know that we are all heartbreakers one way or another. You pushed me out of my own circle. I alienated you. It's exhausting. I can't do this anymore. I have to take a chance and try to climb a different mountain. I know I am no special snowflake, but I know I once touched the stars. I need to step back, take care of myself and wish you well.
I didn't look my best but i hoped
my personality would win you over.
I believed inner beauty was
stronger than any cosmetic.
Private
I wouldn't wear my true colors
because that is a waste of spectrum.
I needed them to stay vibrant
for only those who are worth it.
I don’t like hurting people,
but I don’t like hurting myself either.
I want so badly to pretend
nothing has ever happened,
but I can’t.
You crossed a red line
and you were not even sorry.
An aura of mystery surrounds you and it intrigues me how you keep looking longingly at the ground beneath your feet.
You are the one they left behind.
But darling, there is fire running through your veins. You can’t sink back into obscurity just because you don’t want to be misunderstood. Being understood is overrated anyway.
For all I know, we are made of sugar and spice, so take your sweet time. A broken heart needs time to heal before being able to breathe life again.