Jasmine
“Kindness: the quality of being friendly ("pleasant"), generous ("a readiness to give more than what is necessary or expected") and considerate ("careful not to hurt others").” What more need be said?
How much more pleasant the world would be if everyone could find it in themselves to treat each person they met with kindness. No judgement based on preconceived notions related, but not limited, to reputation, looks, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, race, economics, etc. Even within families (often within families) there can be a dearth of kindness.
Some years ago, my first day teaching high school Spanish, a young lady walked into my classroom, chose the front seat closest to the door, slammed her bag on the floor, sat down in a slouch, folded her arms and looked at me with a mixture of belligerence and hopelessness. She terrified me. Day One and I wanted to flee before I ever got started. I took a deep breath and began as I meant to continue. I smiled at every student as I learned their names and had them memorized before the end of the first class. I daily reached out to each of them with the same mixture of hope, care, and willingness to help them find their way – in my classroom and outside of it.
I soon discovered that the young lady had a reputation that preceded her arrival at the high school. In elementary school, according to the faculty room gossip mill, she had been a delight, but by middle school, she had a horrible attitude and was a poor student. Now, a freshman, the teachers felt no compulsion to find a way to teach her. They had given up before trying. They met her glassy-eyed stare with harsh words and reinforced the sense she gave off that she was a hopeless cause. Indifferent to the individual, they reacted to the attitude she projected, making no attempt to find a way to reach the troubled child beneath the armor. They abetted the continuance of a narrative that did not have to be.
Although she was not disruptive in class, it was quickly clear that she felt no need to do any work outside of it. Fortunately, we shared a study hall, so I made a habit of sitting with her, ensuring that she did her homework and also just giving her an adult ear to bend. By October, she was solidly in my corner and even helped quiet her more disruptive peers. (“I’m trying to learn here!” she would yell if they were too chatty. They got on task.)
Mine was the only class she passed that year. That made me both happy and very, very sad. A little more kindness from her teachers (as well as her family) could have saved her life. (She left school at 16; a beautiful girl, she became a model and moved to another state. I later learned she died at 21.)
I believe everyone could thrive if kindness were the norm.
A Laundry List of Kindness
I think most of us get caught up in our own lives and the daily busyness that we put on ourselves, forgetting that the simplest of things can make the most significant impact on someone else. A smile, a compliment, paying for a meal.
There are many ways to show kindness toward people, and I have often thought the best act of kindness is forgiveness. Turn the page and start fresh.
Leaving behind a bit of kindness without someone knowing it was you, such as leaving a basket of fruit or a box of food items on a doorstep with a simple note saying, “Have a wonderful day.”
Take someone who is having an emotionally difficult time out to lunch and just talk ... and listen. It can do wonders for that person knowing you care enough to listen.
Pick any soldier overseas and write them a letter expressing your thanks for their service.
Thank a First Responder for all they do.
Perhaps donate to a charity.
Donate Christmas gifts to an orphanage.
Bake cookies and bring them to Senior retirement centers.
Volunteer to serve food at a homeless shelter.
Get involved in a fundraiser.
Learn to say hello in a different language: Bonjour ... Hallo ... Ciao ... Kon’nichiwa ...
Hola ... Ni hǎo. ... dzien dobry (French, German, Italian, Japanese, Spanish, Chinese, and Polish.)
Here is one we tend to often forget to do ... send a letter to someone you know instead of an email or a text. It becomes a more meaningful touch of closeness.
Become a Mentor to someone young.
Rake the leaves or mow the lawn for a neighbor.
Donate your hair after a haircut.
For no reason other than because you can ... tell the person you are with how much you love them.
Be kind to yourself.
These are just a few of my favorite things to do when I can. (Although these days, my hair is getting to thin to donate!)