drunk moonlight, clear blue waves, i went insane

your beauty was a sharp knife, cut through a vein

slitting my heart wide open, for you i’d drown

any lifetimes, if i could i’ll never let you down

quiet nights, fading lights, wanting you, the pain

tasted sweet enough for my heart to dissolve in rain

i dream about you, while i stand in these waves,

in this suffering, the only heaven my soul craves

- deathetix

If I could go back I'd floss more. And brush more too.

And absolutely ditch soda.

Not kidding kids - at this point in my life nearly half of my mouth is plastic filled, like a bomb of decay waiting to erupt in my mouth as I approach the end of my days.

If you have a few moments of boredom, go check out the Youtube video where they leave a human tooth in a cup of Coke overnight and it disappears by morning.

Most sodas have so much acid in them they start eroding your bone marrow and leeching the calcium out of your teeth on contact for every minute you don't brush after a cracking open a can. My own dentist begged me to take up coffee as a healthier vice to alleviate my caffeinated Coke-fueled cavities.

The array of choices in sparkling beverages has vastly improved since my childhood, too - a can of cherry Bubly tastes nearly the same as a Dr. Pepper to me now. Yet it's not eating away at the last vestiges of my orthodontia (or adding to my middle-aged waistline).

The small bits of food that get stuck inevitably between your teeth - which is where most of my fillings lie - also create plaque and disturbing bacterial growth/decay, hence the importance of floss too.

If I could go back and change just one of my habits as a child/teen, this would be it.

Ditch the soda - pick up the floss.

i would go back,

and tell him

i'm sorry

i didn't mean to

please

just don't leave me

hold me tight

and don't ever let go.

i would go back,

and wrap his arms

around me.

and smile.

The argument was laid out in front of me. The reciepts, all the points, and how they knew. If there was anything I could redo, I'd say, "I'm sorry."

I didn't do that. I denied the blatant truth in front of me and I messed up. I made a fool of myself, I dismissed and invalidated things I shouldn't have, and I still absorb myself in its consequences.

To be fair, I could try to revisit that, try to redeem myself. But who would I be doing that for? For them, as a genuine sorry? Or for me and my ego and my narrative? I have a habit of making myself the main character. And so far, my character hasn't developed to be capable of that just yet.

I met him one Friday night

cruisin the streets of

HELL.

He didn’t want it to end, so

He followed me

back to my

’“JAIL”

I had to be home

by midnight.

Or get a beating

with a

“BELT”

My dad is a demon

evil

he beat me daily

I would have gone

with anyone

to getaway

from the abuse

the

Terror!

I was 16 he was 26

I was under his

SPELL.

because

He was not the

nice guy

I thought

The mistake

I made was letting that evil

man know where I

lived!!!

I didn’t know there

was true evil in the

world!!!

Now I DO!!!

and I would stay away from that dude!

Athena

#poem #domesticabuse