I would say sorry

[I would say sorry to my mom for all the lies I've lied and all the lies I will lie yet, and for the fact that she would still catch a star from the night sky for me, if only she was taller.

I would say sorry to my dad for all the times I've disobeyed and all the times I will disobey yet, and for the fact that though his hands are rough and his temper rougher, he would still hold me at my worst.

I would say sorry to my siblings for all the tears I've caused them and all the tears I will cause them yet, and for the fact that they wouldgive their all for me if I was ever hurt.

I would say sorry to my friends for all the fights that I had fought with them and all the fights I will fight yet, and for the fact that they'd forgive me still after I'd made them hurt.

I would say sorry to the stars in the sky and the earth under my feet and the waves in the sea for all the times I've lost site of their magnificence and all the times I will lose site yet, and for the fact that they would grant me happiness even if I was never grateful.

I would say sorry to myself for all the mistakes I've made and all the mistakes I will make yet, and for the fact that I would still love myself if only I would try.

I would say sorry a thousand times over. I would cry it at a funeral. I would whisper it to my neighbor. I would sing it in the shower. I would wail it at the doorsteps of strangers. I would howl it to the moon. I would shout it to the wind. I would preach it to God himself if only it would help...]

but one word would not fix anything 'cause fixing anything ain't the same as fixing all my faults.

Why should I apologize?

When you're the one who made me cry?

I can't say I'm sorry for being the way I am.

I'm just trying to be everything you asked of me, but...

I can't.

Why should I apologize?

I did everything I could to keep the fake smile on my face.

I know you've said I'm bad at following my dreams,

Talk about me behind my back...

And still I do everything I can to be the person you tell me to.

Why should I apologize?

I shouldn't, I needn't, but on the other hand...

I've hurt you.

This piece was inspired by the song Let You Down by NF.

Why should I apologize for the stumble in my step, or the fumble of my words or the shake in my hands?

I always laugh, apologizing for my misstep, my mumbled words.

My hands shake, my legs jitter, and my voice wavers, and these things belong to me. No, I didn't have some great tradgey to make me this way. I did not chose to move gracelessly, like a child unfit for their legs. This is who I have become, unrefined edges, stuttered words for a mind that races too fast.

Why should I aplogize for me?