** this is a repost . you can find the original, and many other posts on my ‘Scripts and scraps ’ book.

sC

Chorus:

I’m just a working man,

’Thout my hammer, I feel so sad.

I’m just a working man,

’Thout my hammer , I feel so sad.

But this here hammer I got,

Is done things really bad.

My friend , Phil, needs to put up,

A picture on the wall;

Got my hammer and got some nails

But boy, he had a fall

’Cause that old evil hammer

He don’t like art at all

When Phil fell down from the ladder

The hammer did crash on his balls

Chorus: I’m just a working man..

Once I lent it to Jerry

He wanted to fix the door

The guy took the hammer

Smashed his knee, right into the floor.

And that big old evil hammer ,

He’s as bad as they come

And later, that poor Jerry,

Smashed his fingers and his thumb.

Chorus: I’m just a working man..

Gave it to my friend, Jack

To help him out in a spot.

poor jackie took my evil hammer ,

And later he was shot.

It wasn’t no drive-by shooting

That did it for Jack.

Cause the hammer did his business

Shot him dead, in the back

Chorus: I’m just a working man..

Loaned it out to Henry

wanted to use it , for a piece.

But Henry’s skull was caved-in,

And they called in the police.

So now my poor old hammer,

He’s so lonely, it’s a drag.

The police have got him locked up

As evidence, in a bag.

Chorus: I’m just a working man..

Confession time: I have no idea what song you're referring to. But I have heard a song called "If I were a zombie," and that's instantly the song I thought of. It's a really dumb, cheesy love song. So I'm going to go with that song instead. But don't worry- there will be hammers!

if i had a hammer

i'd never

smash your fingers

when you try

to use me.

if i had a hammer

i'd never

knock your brains in

when you make me angry

the way possessed lovers do

in bad horror movies.

if i had a hammer

i'd make sure to

keep you up and running

making repairs whenever

you require.

if i had a hammer

i wouldn't need

to prove my worth

to anyone.

people would look at me

and then look away

to afraid to challenge me.

if i had a hammer

i wouldn't want

to give it up.

just like i don't want

to give you up,

either.