washing all my thoughts

wringing out the bad memories

bleaching stains of suicide

hiding the hints of harm

not erasing it

for the smell will always linger

but washing it

all my thoughts

not a new start

but the story after the prologue

letting go

of my mind

and the thoughts;

habits

I used to hold

unclenching my knuckles,

loosening my jaw,

what would your voice sound like if i was holding you?

i won't take up anyone's time.

im grieving everyday for

someone who didn't ask to be

mourned.

It does no good

mulling over bad outcomes

in your mind.

Best case scenario:

you come up with the perfect plot twist

or brilliant bit of dialogue

that would have saved the day

but the day cannot be saved

because it is done and over.

So

take that brilliance out of your head

and type it on a screen

go wild

make it right

have the characters say what's needed

for the ending you hoped for.

Be a writer

write the experience as you wished it to be.

You have the power.