the syringe in my arm ached as i had could feel my heart beat in my arm. tears filled my eyes as he grabbed me by my jaw and smiled a wicked smile. "shhh" he whispered and he kissed me. with that kiss memories came to me, and tears slipped down my face. i remembered sitting in the lavender field looking over the horizon of flowers. my brother sat with me hitting his blunt over and over, puff puff pass was our thing. we had it tattoo'd on our wrists. it was our little thing we had. he looked over at me and smiled a smile i always knew and loved. the smile that said who he was and how good of a person he was.

"yknow Sam..its good to get out with others besides me. i know im the only one who actually gets you but open up and explore. you'd like it" he said with a smile. i leaned against him while i took a fat hit of the blunt. "i guess" i said breathless and then let out an exhale of memories.

i closed my eyes and when i opened them the man still had me by the throat kissing my soft pink lips. tears filled my eyes as i cried like a child wanting there mother.."Tommy..." i quietly said wishing my brother was here to save me, wishing he was here to tell me everything is going to be okay and he'd never let anyone hurt me again...the father figure i always craved..

If you are reading this, well safe to say I realized just in time: I have a lot of explaining to do. There are things I haven't told you, a great many things in my life that I feel deserve clarification. I can never apologize enough, so I don't pretend to make this book-- a book I hope but will not insist only you as my wife and next of kin read-- an apology and nor is it an excuse. My name is Koki Nimura and many events, escapades, in my life were not what could be considered normal. I was fifteen. When I received the inspiration for my manga Sweet Flavor.

JZ is a prestigious company these days, it always had been. You see I never mentioned it was that company which hired me on as a temp and coffee boy. I didn't tell you that the man at the top at the time, was Kimochi Idahaya. Doing the math, it would have been all too easy.

He'd quietly been removed from the publishing company that had been in the family since it was built. Three or four, I'm not sure. The media nor either CEO released a statement on what the "unknown scandal" was, simply that there was one.

When I was young there was-- a rumor-- quite the silly rumor. You see, coworkers in the office had the ludicrous idea, that Idahaya-san was sleeping with a fifteen year old temp.