Blood fire and gold
sunsets on vast horizons
that don't fade and don't
shrink with dwindling
opportunity
immortality of thought
of creation without need
of reason
eternally conceiving the
fresh the new and the
relatable
insatiable craving to grow
never slow in groping for
the next thing
improving
chest heaving
aching
panting as legs churn
and muscles burn their
way into the beyond
no bond to tether
no leash to break
no smile to fake and no
thing at stake but
complacency hot on the
heels of shrieking nascency
a vow to be sustained
on the rich but fickle fuel
of creativity
please use your eyes, mind, and heart to read this post.
Judgement is something that can't be avoided: you do it, I do it, even Obama does it. It's simply a quality that comes with thinking, and having opinions. But it's ridiculous that people can't do or wear anything without being judged. More specific than that: teenagers. We are constantly judging each other and being thrown into stereotypes: You wear nice clothes? You're trying too hard. You like black? You're emo and depressed. You like reading? You're a geek. You've had sex? You're a slut. People categorize us, and dish us out into groups based on everything we do. Girls can't get away with going to Starbucks anymore without being called a 'Typical White Girl'. So, what do I hunger for? I hunger for us to be able to look at each other, and see people: not stereotypes, not their stomachs sticking out over their jeans, just people. I want us to see how nice their smile is, how interesting they are to have a conversation with, how pretty they look in a certain top or color. I hunger for us to want to be people, not barbie dolls, and I hunger for that to not just be encouraged but truly accepted. We say so much these days that we think will make a difference in people's minds about judgement and stereotypes, but we don't take much of it to heart. The kids who tell you to love yourself could very well be crying themselves to sleep at night. The ones who tell you to be happy could be trying to convince themselves to be happy, too. Before I punch a wall, I conclude this piece with hopes that you not only heard me, but you listened. I hope you, too, hunger for us to accept one another, and just make peace with our brains so that when we JUDGE people, because it's bound to happen, we also SEE them. Because you never know, you might like what you see.
100 Words of Yearning
Tangible and intangible
Many things
I think one hundred words are a bit much
But I shall try
A list, of no less than sixty-three words
Butter
Reading Minds
Care
To be adored
Power
Knowledge
Baked potatoes
Pasta
World History
Learning
Friends
Eurovision
Music
Vocaloid
History in general
Steampunk
Anime
Hetalia
Europe
Maps
Globes
Geography
Mountains and rivers and streams
Colors
Black
Silver
Writing
Staying on Prose. for longer and longer
A mended heart
Peace
Action
Magic
Passion
Better hearing
Being able to speak all the languages of the world
Speaking French and Spanish and German and Danish
Love
FIN.
Satisfaction
Nothing we do is ever good enough. We always need to do more. Set a goal? Do everything to make it happen. Attain it? Set another goal and aim towards it. You're always climbing, without ever being able to reach the ceiling.
We keep setting ourselves up for success and never failure, all the while never knowing what true success really is. Comparing ourselves to others, and often failing to look within ourselves; we make the materialistic culture succeed and slave ourselves day by day to gather meaningless trinkets. Always thinking and rationalizing that, eventually, after scaling so much, everything will pay off and we will be "happy." But that's also without knowing what "happiness" truly is.
After all, we are never satisfied and thus can never be fully "happy."
That's human nature I guess.
And pizza too.
The feeling of my feet on new ground.
To be places that have never been seen.
Craving the chaos of the unknown.
Yearning for the embrace of loved ones.
They are so far from my dreams.
The need to see everything that can be seen.
Being drawn by the pull of settling down.
desirous of to many things in this world.
Hunger for balance in life.
Searching for a place in the middle.
To be nestled safe between.
Everything great, terrible, odd and mad.
A need for a place where all things meet.
Longing to live life completely.
That's all. Xoxo -jordann
Sobriety
After all these
years
of staying clean
and only smoking
grass,
waking up and
struggling
through reality
sober
is something
that still eats away
at my insides,
gnawing
at my brain.
I feel like I'm under the
influence
of some much worse,
much more
harsh
drug.
It feels concrete
and hopeless
and like everyone
else.
I can't stand it.
I am content with
a little grass
but if I don't have that
I will take anything to
fill that
void
inside me.
Being sober
is hell.
The most boring
and tiring
way to experience
reality.
It is truly
awful.
But
I'm under
the influence
at the moment.
Slightly.
Enough to ease that
monster inside
me.
All is well
until the time
comes
when I have nothing
to escape with.
No nourishment
for my hunger.
When I will retreat
into my dark room
to have my soul
slowly
sucked from my
body
in the most uncomfortable
way possible
and reality will burn into my eyes
and mind
and spirit
and it will be too much to fucking
bear.
Death seems like
a great feast
to a man
dying of
starvation,
like air to the
burning lungs
of the diver.
But I feel
in my bones
if I were to kill myself
I would come back into this
hell over and over.
So, I ponder of my
current age,
28,
and think,
"You're reaching the
halfway point, man!"
"Don't give up!"
"Don't be a bitch!"
"Stick it out
till the end."
And go
naturally
into that
next place
that I hope
is much more
tolerable
than this
one.
Life
I hunger for life.
Not this life.
Rather, one worth living.
Not about earning a living.
We get so caught up on earning a living that we, somehow, forget to live. I work to sustain, but I hunger to live.
I have hungered to sustain.
That want for more seemed to breed...
More lack.
I stopped one day and thought about what I would like to do....
And did it.
At that point I realized that I had been living to work.
I work only to sustain nowadays.
I work for the needs.
And I do what I want.
I live.
Because it's what I hunger for.
Lack
I always dreaming of a happy ending
I dreamt of a man who definitely accept my flaws and my moodswings
The one who cherished anything with me
I'm not into a glamour extravagant life
I would rather choose to live in a simple life with him.
How was it possible to be with him
How we build this kind of relationship
He never accept
He never explained
I stood up waiting
I felt there must be a reason
A reason that faces the fact
That a happy ending will never be truly exists.
'Cause a once upon a time will never be happen.
I hunger and thirst for a life of ease.
Don't judge me.
I've felt enough loss that I couldn't even bring myself to write about it when prompted.
I've experienced poverty. Shut-off notices, utilities being turned off. Electric in the winter, gas in the summer. Evictions, domestic violence.
I've seen addictions at their worst and best.
And more.
Therefore I hunger for ease.
I want the easy life.
I also want the road to get there to be easy. Not winding and rugged.
I want the stress free life. (Does that even exist??)
I hunger and thirst for a life that's not so difficult and painful.
For now I'll just take ice cream.