She sat alone on a park bench, waiting. For what, no one knew. She sat, staring at the people who passed her, her eyes curious and her mouth daring to call to them, to say hi. But she never did. She simply sat there, staring as the people passed.
Every week, you could find her there. The exact same girl, her hair twisted up into a bun, and her clothes always the same except for the color of her shirt. She would stare at the people who passed her, her eyes crying out to them, but was silent. When the sun had finally gone down, she would leave. Where she went was a mystery to everyone around her.
No one ever sat next to her. She was there day and night, waiting for someone to do something. But no one did. Everyone figured she was waiting for someone, or else just really weird. She wasn't normal, people would whisper later, after coming home. She's just a girl, others would whisper.
Still, no one really knew this girl. the girl with the daring eyes. The girl who never spoke, and never asked anyone anything. No one even dared ask her what her name was. She simply sat there, waiting and hoping.
Behind the Dark Glasses
She sits at a small corner table at the local Starbucks. Beautiful tall blue eyed blonde, but no one could tell the color of her eyes. Not behind those dark sunglasses. Those two pieces of glass with a designer's name stamped on the side of the frame. They hide everything about her from the outside world, but also keep her a prisoner.
She sits staring at the small screen, like everyone else, scrolling through nothing in particular. Men fall over themselves to talk to her, but she politely carves them up into pieces and sends them on their way, destroying their fragile egos. She sits there alone because it is better than sitting alone in her apartment. She doesn't want to admit life is passing her by. Her self-absorbed world is grinding to a halt. She is becoming common.
Once upon a time, she was known to thousands and the center of attention. An expert at smiling. A Geisha wearing a kabuki mask concealing an empty shell. She was a fairy tale princess without a prince. Always guarded, her heart would never allow someone in. She wants to look to the future, but the goblins of her past will not allow that. With only her past glories, alone, she hides in plain sight.
Postpartum Christmas Eve
The mouths are fed, the naps are napped,
The cookies baked, the presents wrapped.
...It's hard to not feel handicapped
By loneliness at night.
The mind inside unsteady, snapped,
The love declined, the life inapt.
There's nothing worse than feeling trapped
While knowing it's alright.
We Are Enemies
I walked down the hall, my books being hugged to my chest. My legs moved due to autopilot and my responses to others were of the same cause. My brain never stopped running over the scene, the scene of Jason telling me I wasn't invited to his graduation. Even though I had known him since 2nd grade. My teeth grinded together as I thought of all the nice things I had done for him and how he never repaid me. How I wanted to get back at him, get married and not invite him, something along those lines.
We aren't friends anymore, we are enemies.
Loneliness filled me, filling the spaces that Jason had left open. Loneliness is now my best friend.