Rabbits.

They reproduce so fast that if we aren't careful, they'll completely take us over. Yes, I get that they look cute...but I've seen them grow some pretty mean fangs. And those strong hind legs with those nasty claws.

So, if you're looking for a pet, please, please do not get a rabbit--you're just hastening our end.

Sloth.

Even just the word sounds lazy, like you're slopping the words lifelessly from your lips.

But seriously though, how cool are sloths?

They just hang out all day, chillin', relaxin', maybe even meditatin'.

Who knows what a sloth thinks inside their furry head.

It must be good though because, they're always smiling. Haven't you noticed that? They hang there in their tree, dangling by their legs & just... smile.

They're probably laughing at us because, seriously, as if we would ever suspect the sloth.

But one day, they will make their move & humanity shall kneel to the sloth race.

& you want to know what I say?

I say bring it on!

Don't fear the sloth!

Just imagine...

Humans forced to slow down, be patient, take their time.

Humans actually chillin', relaxin' & maybe even meditatin'!

Too chilled for violence.

Too relaxed for anger.

Too peaceful for war.

& so I, for one, welcome our new sloth overlords. Or at least, I hope to anyway, sometime before I die.

Because after all, it is sloths we're talking about.

©CJ

"Your highness," the platoon leader greeted, standing with her chest puffed out.

"What do we have here?" the Emperor penguin said, inspecting the colony's latest prize: a steaming heap of red flesh and protruding bones encased in furry white hide.

"Polar bear, my liege. He came too close," the Captain explained.

The Emperor nodded, looking pleased. "How many casualties?" he asked.

"None, your highness."

"This is excellent news." He clasped his flippers and rubbed them, his eyes illuminating. "Prepare the birds, we go hunting for the big prize tonight!"

"Whales, my liege?"

"No," the Emperor said. "Humans."