Peregrinus.
*poof*
- what was that?
*boom*
(coughs & sneezes)
- Waouh!
- what is that supposed to be?
- o, this? (laughs)
- ah, I see.
- Yes, (smiles) it’s an ol’ ancient recipe for summoning any beast really.
- hmm, okay. But that sounds~
- Dangerous? (chuckles) Come on, now. Let’s find out what we have whipped up here.
- Okay. It has scales, a tail, and (screams) sharp claws!
- Oh, it’s only a baby.
- (whimpers) still, that beast needs to head back to its home.
- uh, that won’t be possible. Once I begin the recipe, and finish it...well, whatever creature appears can’t be whisked away. (sighs)
- Seriously? Oh, this is not good at all.
#Peregrinus.
a recipe for disaster
tragedies repeat
day by day
while those impacted
bathe in a somber grey
Knowing
that they could have done something.
Reflecting
on how there was love, now there’s nothing.
because every disaster
has its cause
following the universe’s
inflexible laws
...
like the day you
were craving a meal.
the world acted like
it was no big deal.
but then you got
into your car.
road rage got you in a fit
you drove pretty far.
then your phone rang once
no, twice.
you answered it,
trying to be nice.
and i was on
the other line.
you sounded like
you were doing fine.
but then you were
quite distracted.
some type of
thoughtlessness enacted.
and you passed
your destination
and an illegal U-turn
out of frustration
lead to a crash -
hoped you were fine
as i heard the boom
from the other line.
...
because the recipe for disaster
has its cause
frustration, distraction
the universe’s ruthless laws.
and the cause was me
as i can see
my carelessness turned into
your fatality.
A Recipe For Life
A recipe for Success is a broad emotion
A reason to put your body in locomotion
A recipe for Love is to stay open to change.
Plan early and know things never stay the same.
A recipe for Luck is to know everyone does not have it.
We hope and we pray, then finally we quit.
A recipe for Children is to get control when they are young.
Because once they grow older, you are the dumb one.
A recipe for Hate is to not let it join you.
Be your own man and lead people to be true.
A RECIPE FOR A GOOD LIFE
1 Tsp Personality Flaws: Perfect is boring. We all need flaws to teach us humility and how to laugh at ourselves. Of course, too much of this ingredient will result in you making a douche bag and not a good life.
2 Tbsps Adversity: Problems build character and fuel’s creativity. Where would we be if some ancient person in the Cradle of Civilization hadn’t despirately needed a way to tolerate their inlaws, ignore their children, and make their partner appear more attractive? Thanks to this tortured individual, alcoholic beverages were discovered and life was immediately a bit more tolerable.
1/2 Cup Don’t Be A Dick: Respect the view point of others. Stand up against injustice. Most importantly, use your fucking turn signal!
2/3 Cup Desire: This keeps us connected to our inner animal. It allows us to fuck our partners with dirty, sweaty intensity until we wake the neighbors and make every dog on the block howl at the moon.
1 Cup Humor: The foundation of a good life. Without it, I would have lost it at 7 years old and spent the last 34 years in a padded cell swimming in my own drool.
1 1/2 Cup Love: Doesn’t matter who you love. What matters is that they love you back.
2 Cups Common Sense: This ingredient allows you to survive on your own. Given the number of thirty-somethings still living at home, the high ratings of cable news shows, and the fact that millions of people actually care about the Kardashians, I’d guess this is the rarest ingredient in the recipe.
Instructions: Combine all ingredients and let simmer at 98.6 degrees for 0-100 plus years.
