I was gonna say “It’s not you, it’s me,” but the more I think about it, it really is you.

You can keep the towels and sheets, but I will have someone come and pick up my dishes and silverware. I’m really sorry I ran over your cat.

Oh, and by the way, your sister and I are flying to Reno to get married. We’ll send you pics.

He was breaking up with her. Right now. In the middle of their wedding day, with spindles of white raining down around them, as he clutched her hand in an almost too dry-hot way. The ring was already on her finger, a dense chilly metal clenching down on the fat that encompassed her ring finger, and she was holding the one she was going to put on his.

Supposed to put on his.

But as his hand shook, pawing at her in an almost desperate way, she didn’t think the gold band would make it on to his fingers. She didn’t understand, white noise filling her ears in a way that singled out her vision, focusing solely on him. His eyes were wide and shaky, but they peered down at her. He was sweating at the collar, his chest was contracting with an uneven pant of despair, and his feet were pointed away from her as if his body was trying to make an escape but his mind couldn’t.

Four years together, they had spent and crafted a life from the ground. He had proposed, finally, on the roof of the home they shared together. Two dogs, a pregnancy scare, and the planning of marriage later and he was standing at the altar saying he couldn’t marry her.

Her dress was too constricting at the moment, the thin net stretched across her bosoms clamping own on her lungs, and she needed to get away before her mother realized her fiancé was leaving her at the altar. Her mother had been thrilled she was going to be married, the terminal illness she had been diagnosed with meaning somebody would be there for her precious child when she couldn’t. Now she would watch her daughter stare down at an empty blue carpet in front of her, alone and heartbroken.

The panic set in after a couple of seconds of mind-numbing seconds. The priest had stopped, and the crowd looked upon them with a breathless gaze. The realization had set in – the marriage would not proceed. She was frozen, almost as if watching the car collide into at an alarming speed. She would end up paralyzed, and there was nothing she would be able to do to stop this.

She wanted to stop him, to press marks into the delicate skin around his wrist, shake him to tell him to stay. If she could, she would get on her knees and beg for him to love her.

But she loved him too much, and so finally, he turned his back to her, the crisp black wedding suit filtering away as she watched him walk down the aisle she had seconds walked up. It was a dream to her, to walk down the aisle with the man she loved, but in the end, she ended up alone.

This break up was the worst,

She was my my love at first!

We started dating at seventeen,

She was angelic and heavenly!

Our first born was three,

Our Second was in her belly!

I wanted to make her my wife,

At age twenty-two we took vows for life!

We were married for five years,

Infidelity brought out my tears!

I was on nights at work,

She was seeing some other jerk!

My life has changed forever,

Still don’t have my shit together!

It causes all my anxiety,

The diagnosis of PTSD,

It’s been the same routine,

All stemming from jealousy!

That was caused by infidelity!

For my 22nd birthday, I convinced my parents to let me fly in and visit the guy I had been dating for the past 8 months. I was crazy about him. My feelings were much stronger than I have ever felt for anyone before. I had fallen hard and it had worried my friends and family. My parents were concerned that I would get hurt and be pressured into things I would regret later. They wanted me to stay with my grandma who lived nearby rather than his apartment but my almost 22 year old self thought "what could go wrong?"

I arrived at his apartment and our reunion, this was long distance, the last time we saw each other was 3 months ago, was spectacular. He seemed happy I was there and while I didn't lose my virginity that night (thanks Mother Nature for bringing on my unpredictable, very high flow period) I came closer than I ever had before. I was more convinced than ever that he was it for me.

The next morning he seemed cold and distant as he left for work. I rationalized that he was tired from our late night and the wine we drank. However, he was still cold when he came home that night as he quietly suggested a walk on the beach.

We walked in silence until he said "We need to talk. I nod as he continued somberly, "I met somebody else and I think this could be important. I felt so guilty after last night." This took me by surprise as we had talked the week before with him telling me how excited he was for my visit and he couldn't wait to hold me in his arms. I blink tears away and try to make my tone casual, "So when did you meet her?"

"Last week," he replied guiltily.

I felt so foolish, how could I mean so little to someone who meant so much to me? I tried to put on a brave face but I'm sure my heartbreak was evident. My heart was broken and my spring break ruined. Happy birthday to me.

It was supposed to be the first time we would take our relationship further. We were scared but excited. Not because of the sex, but rather, it's finally the time that both of us felt trust with each other. God knows I need it.

"Hi, honey. I'm already prepared everything for our anniversary. I hope you are too. Love you." I sent her a text message, around 3 PM, precisely after my day job ended. I was excited, really excited. Even my colleagues noticed the wide smile stapled into my face. Congratulations, baby. They would say, with the biggest grin on their faces and some of them hugged me whilst pecking me on the cheeks. "Thank you," I answered them, whilst moving to my work quarters to finish everything for that day.

"Are you waiting for someone? You seemed happy... more than usual, I guess." Father, around a week before, commented on how I looked before the company meeting. I was wearing a black dress, that covered my torso, my thighs and the upper half of my arm. There are frills around my hips, and I wore 2 black earrings. I wore the ring that he gave for last year's anniversary; a rose pink titanium ring on my middle finger. "Thank you, dad. I've been feeling better, these days. Thank you for noticing." I gave him a huge smile. He gave me a smile back and moved forward to hug me.

"I'm finally out. I'll see you soon." A short text message appeared. I smirked. "I'll be waiting." I took another sip of the hot chocolate and took a bite of the donut that I just bought. After a moment, I found myself looking at a teenager, that was sitting on the other side of the cafe. He had a lit cigarette in his mouth, a pair of sunglasses in front of his eyes and a single pink earring on his left ear. He looked angry, for some unknown reason. After a while, he looked at me. We were looking at each other for a while before I gave him a smile and leaving my table. I couldn't let this bother me, I thought to myself.

"Are you on the way there?" Josephine called. "Yeah. The traffic's a bit shitty though." I heard her clicking her tongue. "Okay. Just be safe okay? A big day ahead of us, or rather, ahead of you." She laughed quietly. I could only answer with a quiet nod. "I feel happy, you know. Really, really, really happy." "I know." She hung up suddenly.

"I'm already here. Where are you? Just making sure. Love you, be safe." I gave him another message. I found twiddling my thumbs erratically. I was excited. I turned my head into a mirror next to me and fixed everything that I could fix. My lipstick, my eyelashes, my eyebrows, my cheeks, the short white dress that I wore, the black-red high heels, my brown-colored wavy hair. I need to be perfect, it's a big day. Whilst waiting for the chaperone to come, I found myself giggling quietly under my breath. I can't wait.

"On my way. Traffic." Another short message appeared. "Ok." I typed on the keyboard of my phone and then send the two letters. I looked at the clock above the elevator, 6.44 PM, it said. He was always late, so I didn't really notice anything out of the ordinary. I, again, found myself fixing my appearance countless times. Then, I continued twiddling my thumbs again, more erratic by the moment. My face became paler, my eyes felt heavy, my stomach's growling, my heels are hurting. But, I still found myself waiting, and waiting in the lobby of the 4-star hotel on the outskirts of the city.

"8.11" I typed on my chat with him but held my thumb to press the send button. I turned my head in the mirror, and gave myself a smile. My cheeks hurt. "It's okay, Madam. You look stunning today." Said Jonas, a janitor in my office. I nodded, smiled and walked past him to get to the elevator. "It's okay. I look stunning, anyways." It's a big day for us.