conversations (part 1)
what he said to me
Find someone better than me, for I can never be the kind of man you want. I am nothing and no one. Selfish and awkward and insane.
I wish you all the best, but we will never be the same. So this has to end.
We need to move on from each other, but we can’t if we remain in contact.
You mean so much to me, and it hurts me to write this to you.
You deserve to be happy, but you won’t be with me.
I’m sorry.
I’ll miss you.
Goodbye.
The old men...
There was an old man called Sabir in one of the remote villages. The father had two daughters-in-law, but they were not happy.
The housekeeper used to stay in the call to prayer every day, taking care of his other possessions.
It is good that the father's fortune is that of his neighbor, Kamar. Every time he encounters on the street, he pours out his heart and soul. Kamar is not bored listening to Sobir. He paused for a while and then began to speak about his own sadness. In fact, two old men could sit in one another's house in a cup of tea. However, Kamar's wife is confused and dull. Sobir's in-law ... when Kamar visited him only once, he spoke clearly behind his brides. Kamar's did not visit him again.
The two old men are just saddened by the fact that they are sitting on a street chair.
And now Sabir met Kamar's and started to say:
- O my dear! Time is bad. Look, we've hit seventy in one pass.
- Don't go, my friend, don't talk! Our time has passed! God puts these days in my head when I say that I will be honored with my loved ones in my old age! I lost my only child last year! As if this was not enough, my daughter-in-law left us. My old lady also lost her nerves, and in one of the words she hurt me. Oh, my friend I don't remember if I came into this life!
-_ What do you mean, I have been burned by these two brides. If at least one of them is dead or alive, he has not received any news! Oh, my sons are against me, and they both support his wife! As if this was not enough, my whole body would shake all night. Is that still life, Kamar? Why do I have to suffer as I get older! Oh, let your glory be not broken! What would God do if he could take away my life!
- We are salty, Sobir! If we were to look at the world, we would see war. When we said that we would play as children, we would see famine and famine. We would come back to the city in humiliation to study. When we are old and weak, we will see these dark days! Oh my God, don't we create in these quiet, dark times? Look at that Nabi, he's still too young! God also gave him a reputation for doing his work. He was married recently. And she is a good wife! It didn't even have a luxury home! Here's my real life friend! And we… sometimes, when I see the sweet life of others, I want to cry inside myself for my bitter fate!
"That's how life is!" There are those who are happy and those who are not! But the poor will remain in that condition until we die! Do we still have five days?
At that moment Mamaraim's son crossed over and ran. The young man saw the old man and stammered.
"Huh, are you Mamaraim's son?" How do you feel? Is it peace? Said the old men unanimously.
The guy was silent for a while. But then he shuddered and said:
-_Nabi .... My brother Nabi ... died in a car accident!
When Sabir and Kamar Grandpa heard this news, they thought for a while. They paused for a while and then went home.
The people who went to the mosque this morning saw Kamar and Sobir
Works in Progress.
I get this story in my head whenever I get in a certain mood or a certain line of events happen in my life. My brain goes into the mindset of this woman, Ayana, who is a mildly successful author. The story once began when she had her first book signing event in Canada (though I don’t even know if writers still do that. Dream deferred. >.<) She sees a guy that she talked to five years prior who casually disappeared after two years of them being friends. Then, three years later, he appears and tells her he moved on. Just like that. So, like any sane person, she tries to kill herself and winds up in a mental hospital.
That is the prelude. The story’s skeleton is as follows -- she wakes up and has become a success overnight. Everyone is talking about her and the fact that she is crazy. She does not enjoy it. She’s used to living a normal life since her rise to success was recent and she’d already had trouble navegating being famous. Now that she is known, it is harder. She tries to become a recluse but her manager encourages her to not run and instead to use the fame to release her book’s sequel, The Name of This Book is Cliche (I don’t have any good horror titles in mind, but you get it).
But, Ayana can’t focus. She is basically losing her mind because she suppresses her feelings and put them into a bottle or a joint and can’t deal with it. She doesn’t want therapy or to get better. That sounds ridiculous, but denial is often ridiculous. All of this, thus far, is true for me as a person except the help part. Though, I feel as though the second that help no longer seems like something that I want, I’ll stop seeking it. And yeah, there are other things I didn’t mention, like her brother’s weird ass girlfriend, Kaminie, and her various flings with various guys online.
I don’t know how it ends. This was literally all inspired by a nightmare. But yeah, I dunno how to end it, and again, it only comes in a certain mood (that I do NOT want to live in forever), so yeah, work in progress.