Crime and Punishment

You will never get close to me ever again.

A silent vow as I look out the window,

Avoiding my friend's gaze and the noise

As I try to shake the day off and ward off

The thoughts of blood and pain again.

I am a fool for the last time, that I vow.

Now I am a fool again, falling once more

Though the signs are different now.

I'm older and this one is a lot nicer to me,

Yet I still flashback to that day at lunch,

Looking at what he said about me in my diary,

Promising I will never cry like this again.

Life continued and I played them like puppets,

Saying what they want to here and playing along

Only to pull the carpet out from under them

And walk away grinning, knowing I escaped again

From almost falling and breaking my neck

Thinking there was someone waiting for me below.

Yet I've failed my latest trick and am falling.

But this time, I feel the fear in my throat

And the uncertainty desperately blocking the sun.

I want to believe things are different now,

That I have grown up from everything in the past,

But some things I just can't get over apparently.