There once was a candy store that stood on Dayton Street, it had shelves of chocolate and Jawbreakers with little gummy dinosaurs in the the middle that represented the prehistoric embryos. I used to love that little store, my 3 year old face would light up everytime I was bought something. Then my family moved away for a year and when we came back it was gone. I remeber being shocked, asking my dad about what happened to it. I don’t recall his reply, but from what I know it must have closed down. Ironically enough, a vegan smoothie bar takes it’s place.

There used to be a different playground at my old elementary school. A massive sprawling complex of wood and a tire swing that was an actual tire, instead of the hard plastic ring that burns your thighs when you try to ride it when it’s sunny out. One summer after first grade a monster of a midwest thunderstorm knocked down a gigantic oak tree whiched crushed most of the complex. The tree was taken away and a new playplace was built. Except it wasn’t the same. The memories ingrained in the climbing bars and the spiral slide had all dissapeared with the old playground.

Do I still wish these places where still the same as they had been a decade ago? I haven’t really thought about it, but I kind of do, even though there are numerous other places to buy sweets and playgrounds have long stopped holding my interest. Other kids could’ve had a chance to enjoy those spots as much as I had.

But I am not depairing over the loss, change is simply a part of life. Things change and that’s okay, we learn to adapt and move on. Life would be boring and monotonous if things always stayed the same.

There’s this cave I found

On the edge of a cliffside

Empty enough

To fall straight off

The yawning entrance

Lets out a spider

And flecks of dirt

But nothing else

Save the sunken sound

Of its ancient plea

A beating, lasting,

Dying inquiry

If I'm empty how can I ever

Fall

And do I exist

At all

Have I ever

Never, never, never

Let me hurt

I can’t feel the flames

Let me want

I can’t see the other side

This gaping open hole

What’s supposed to be in it?

I’ve never seen

Open, empty, left

An abandoned lost hope

It's alone

As it always was

It was the peeling paint on the garage door

It was the new windows in the big, old house

It was the snow on the ground and the snow on the table

It was the foreign breath that condensates on my lips

It was the car crash in the spring

It was the smoke that hit the ceiling and danced and twirled through the car

It was the mattress that belonged to no one

It was the razor blade beneath a tongue or behind an ear

It was the picnic table with carved initials

It was damp T-shirt’s

Sand between toes

Tattooed limbs in summer sun

The fight in the basement

Bikes hung from ceilings

The tears and the deep, calming breaths

Unspoken words

And too hot skin left out in the cold