I didn't choose all that happened to me, I didn't want it.

so why do I have to suffer from others unhealed pain?

Why did they have to be bled on when it's not my fault they were cut?

Why do I have to be bloody when it's not my wound that's bleeding?

All because of you bloody monsters, I got used to the feeling of being drenched.

I've found comfort in the warm liquid. Like a motherly hug that I never got.

But now that I'm used to it, I find myself cutting others, and cutting myself just so I can be covered in blood.

To feel the warmth that I am just so addicted to, because it's all I have ever known.

I lay awake,

The days fade away.

I wonder how long it will take,

For me to truly connect with a friend I make.

Effort after effort,

It all leads astray.

They will never understand a mind like mine.

Stick labels on me,

Say they know me,

And make baseless accusations.

Like a poisoned prick stabbed into my skin,

The poke hurts for a moment,

But I am unaware of the poison that will spread through my body.

For years to come,

Its effects will still last.

My trust so easily broken,

I just wanted us to last.

I understand I am different,

But I am glad.

Don't you ever say you know me,

We aren't the same.

Keep my name out of your damn mouth,

You're a fool who doesn't deserve my grace.

Close to my heart,

You once were.

Though I have to let you go,

I won't ever forget the feeling you gave.

The smile you brought to my face,

One that can't be remade,

I look at you now,

Watching that same smile fade away.

Like an old friend,

When I see you,

I look away with a bitter taste.

We will never be again,

The thought so sickening.

Nothing else is quite like our ending.

It is so hard

loving another

who doesn't reciprocate.

The push, and the pull

The dance between our souls

As we venture through the ups and the downs

of this bitter-sweet sound.

The notes carry us,

The weep and the woe,

As I listen to your heartbeat lull.

It beats of a pattern,

The titter and tatter.

Though it is soft,

It's tiny voice speaks a name belonging to another.

Though I know I must let you go,

I can't help but to let this seedling of hope grow.

I daydream of a day,

where I can hold you till dawn breaks.

Lead astray,

lost in the warm stream of reverie

Unaware of reality,

I awake to your profound love to somebody not me.

It rips my heart open wide,

A gaping hole left in plain sight,

I need the weave of your love,

to patch it back up.

Knowing that day will never come,

I leave my heart full of none,

And watch with sorrow,

as you find your one.

Hopelessly romantic I am,

A victim to this game,

I am nothing but a flaxseed grain,

No future left to this love game.