KARMA! KARMA! These words left loudly from my mouth each night as I went to bed. I went to sleep thinking of nothing but the pain and agony that had washed over me the past year by the heartbreaker, now sleeping at the other end of our son's home. I couldn't help but think of the brash, hard, cold and hatred way I had stared him down throughout our grandson's party this evening. The anger I was feeling was much stronger being just rooms away from the him.

I was not sure why I so suddenly awoke and decided to softly creep toward his room. I felt oddly light and frightened. I turned around, about to decide to just lay back down, when I saw myself lying peacefully sleeping in my bed. My first thought was, Thank God, I finally get to leave this miserable world. I tried to speak and wondered if others could here me as I did. As I traveled the distance to the room the heartbreaker was sleeping in, I reached out to check for the ability to touch things, but that wasn't happening.

I suddenly noticed that one reason I felt light was because I was floating inches above the floor. In the same instant I heard the sharp cracking of a window. It was coming from the heartbreaker's room. I was feeling overjoyed at the opportunity to just watch the nervousness and intimidation he would feel hearing the sinister humming coming from an empty spot in the room. I slowly began to hum our song; When A Man Loves A Woman, and stopped short when I seen a raging, hate drenched psychopath quietly approaching the heartbreaker's bed.

KARMA! KARMA! KARMA! Why did you wait until I started the job myself. Looking at the scene at the bed, I suddenly realized that this visitor intended to do a more final job than me. I was pondering on how bad I felt the heartbreaker should be punished for the lying, deceiving and cheating way he suddenly ripped away 30 plus years of my life. What should be the price for him providing me the opportunity to flow through over half my life in vain? And also for giving me years of false hope and just using my love for him, to take care of his home and family while he lived a life of pleasure. And exactly how high should I gouge the price for keeping me foolishly pining for our long life together until he used me up and then suddenly walking off when my life was at the end.

From the scene on the other side of the room, it seems that this psycho had every intention on taking his time to slowly build fear in his prey. Well, I am going to lovingly think this through over a glass of the heartbreaker's homemade wine. Afterall, if I did decide to find a way to spare his life, I was being given plenty of time to think it through thoroughly. I wonder how many times this now, scared and bewildered, man has thought about me surviving much longer than he anticipated after telling all his women that I was about to die any day.

At least I could see the face making all the screaming sounds immersing as he was being tortured. Neither he or the pain supplying psycho could figure out the source of my half humming and half thinking that was happening in the room. I pondered over whether or not I could sleep with knowing I watched this stranger take the heartbreaker's life. But the more I thought about how he so morbidly wrecked my life with torture then so easily walking away with no remorse and slept soundly, I could do just fine with him getting his payback. Just not death. Now to decide how to save his ungrateful ass!

OMG! Thanks Karma! This is going to be good. This needs to be filmed live on all social media sites, and posted cozily aside his public engagement announcement on Facebook. I floated to the bed, took a deep breath, and threw myself into the psycho's body. He suddenly pulled back, looking all around the room, being totally oblivious to what had just took place in his body. Taking the strangers body over was going to be priceless, and I could not be safer in this fight. When I looked down at the heartbreaker, I noticed I was safer than I ever knew. The predator has graciously tied him all up for me.

Realizing that the predator was conveniently positioned over our prey. Using his body, I caressed the heartbreakers face and chest while asking him, "Have you had even one night with your new woman as overwhelming as the night we had in the woods spontaneously on the way home from playing pool. Or has she been, even once, as electrifying as the night at the Percy Sledge Concert". The psycho was constantly trying to get away. The heartbreaker had the scariest look on his face as he wondered how this random stranger knew these details.

I stood up and walked back a few steps and placed my hands on my hips in total hatred and began to lay it all on the line with a few instructions. I began the list in a voice of pure anger, "You need to let your woman know that I couldn't have been as big of a mistake leading to the real thing as you made out or you would not have renewed your vows after 20 years. She needs to be aware that I was not on the brink of death when you deserted me. And please let her know that, 1st wife had the boy, I had THE MAN(all about family and commitment), and bless her heart, she gets to carry out the garbage you become after wadding up and tossing your entire family to the dogs. Your only mistake after doing all those horrid things to me, was never thinking I would remain the strongest and most enduring woman you have ever had a privilege to have a life with. AND one little message from KARMA specifically for you, I will outlive you and you will die realizing you walked out on the best thing in your life".

"Always remember, Karma kicked ass on this night".

I removed myself from the shaking psycho, who after regaining his composure, looked at the heartbreaker and told him in a gentle voice, "I can't possibly kill you now, I think it will be much worse being bound and having to soak up the words you just heard. The only thing I will be able to do after that fabulous performance, which I can't explain, is go home and sleep and forget this ever took place".

He then went out same window he entered and was lost in the darkness.

And only thing heard from the heartbreaker was,

"KARMA! KARMA! KARMA! WHY?

I never knew that some simple emotions could be so painful. Within the last 5 months, I have been battling between anxiety and depression, looks like my emotions are going to take my last breath. Will the next downfall that comes into my life introduce me to any new emotions. The battle between anger, love, loneliness, and pain is enough shifting of emotions for me. Not sure that those are the only emotions that I have experienced in the midst of anxiety and depression. Being as how there are hundreds of emotions, it's not ever clear of just how many we feel in any given day. Woe! I sure hope my insides can settle back down for a little while.

"Sometimes I think I've lived too long." I once thought that I would live forever due to me being so strong in all aspects of my life. That made since at the time because surely the strong in will would live a long life.

Now, twenty years later, I think I had it all wrong. Now that I am down sick, my strength is quickly fading away. Therefore, I may have lived too long.