The lightness of your soul feather,

lands perfectly at the center of my heart pool,

rippling up radiant prismatic universe and portals

onto my multifaceted past life memories.

The weight of your heart wisdom

plummets through my deep unconscious ocean waves

melting down my layered earthly cocoon,

deconstructing the veils of my mind puddle.

Tickling and beckoning,

summoning up

every deep yearning within my soul.

Wake up and Rise up--

deep remembering gifts of my body temple.

The gift to eat a pear,

savor every sweet sensation of a rose,

or melting into oneness with the water…

ease into the infinite effervescent magic, love and ecstasy.

Walk this path of heaven on earth

fully alive.

How much deep inside me,

there’s this yearning desire to

interact with a soul

and read it like a library.

So warmly wrapped up

in the blanket of some in-depth knowledge

and agedly fermented wisdom

Like taking on a boat ride,

on a lazy breezy warm sunny day,

the boat rudder gently pudding our path

along smooth lake water

and your riveting life’s stories rolling

out of your silk-like white summer blouse

Pearl-like wisdom slowly

gliding off the sleeve of your tongue

like morning dew sliding off the edge of lotus petals

landed perfectly in the center of my heart

The well-preserved sweet honey nectars of your soul

suited my taste bud perfectly

tickling my fancy and

hit the spot.

What if this life is truly a gift and every moment is indeed heaven on earth?

What if being born as a tiny sweet bee is as divinely as a blue elephant or a soaking eagle?

What if my whole purpose in life is just to learn how to taste sweeter nectar out of every single flower blooming upon my path?

Every shimmering conscious being could all be my lovely companions, and octaves of symphony that resonating deeply and profoundly along my own inner soul singing.

What if getting lost and drifting into endless daydream or nightdream are indeed my own unique divine blueprint on earth? To dream my own little dream, dreaming all day, all night, dreaming into different diverse multi-verses, dreaming myself into being anything that could possibly be, or just a tiny sweet bee, diving into immense delicious ocean of tasty colorful garden of spring,

A dreamy oasis of my own inner haven, my homeland of Avalon..

Dream everything into being, dream a new world order into becoming, where sweet bee, blue elephant, clumsy panda and smart humans could all be equally valued, treasured and loved. All sisterhood and brotherhood are all holding hands, hands in hands, dancing in circle, singing a song of earth, weaving our heart’s content into a beautiful loving tapestry…

Let us all singing a little lullaby, along the nature’s graceful rhythmic change,

in this flower pink full moon night,

gently tuck our inner child into, this dreamy tapestry of

starry galaxy,

let the inner child falling into sound sleep, cute snoring noises, shrugging off all worries or burdens of the outer world,

leaning deeper only to the inner voice,

what is her heart’s inner knowing?

learning more magic tricks in other parallel dimensions, astral journeying on and on, to her own heart’s content,

painting a star galaxy of her own wildest imaginative dreamy matrix,

all beings’ hearts’ beats, pulsating along this sacred tune of life, resonating along the song of earth and rippling out this forever riveting color-painted story book,

flower of life,

heaven on earth.

The imperfection is a journey

leading to Perfection

My unconscious mind is like an upside down black umbrella,

hoarding onto all the unfinished past lives’ storylines

Time to flip this lopsided umbrella—

raining cats, dogs

within my subliminal shadow side.

Fumbling, bumbling

beneath the mysterious

subconscious iceberg

Exploring this immense terrain

within my inner foggy soggy...

untouched underworld.

Shaking hands with all the faulty imperfected selves

Allowing all my inner naughty kitten, clumsy puppy

a chance to

explore some fresh insights

out of the wide opening world.

Embracing every quirky cute animals within me

Set them free…

Swimming among the multitude beauty of this

inner union-ship.

Humming along the joy of my heart,

dancing out the rhythm of my soul.

Triggers…

so many things could be triggers

movies, songs, memories, a piece of old cloth, a sticky note

or one misplaced silver earring of yours…

Until I realized that all the old entangled memories

good or bad

were all part of your enchanted characters…

Your quirky jokes,

clumsy sense of humor

or the unique way how your flipped my heart

I wish I could think of you with less aching episodes of ups and downs,

but more of your sweet peachy nectarine inner characters.

I pray for the colorful majestic Autumn Wind of upstate New York,

give us one last chance of a tangled dance,

sweeping away every untouched

niches standing in-between you and me,

we could finally shake hands and

put a happy ending for our shared memories.

As I grow older

I appreciates the slower pace in life more.

Sweet nectars of the fresh air in Upstate New York

Slower, and even much slower

Slow enough to allow spells of passing racing thoughts

finally laying low and

slowly pealing off

Layer by layer…

All the jagged inner confusion and struggles,

harrowing entangled karma and the past life’s hot mess,

can all suddenly yet slowly taking on some lovable colors.

Let the hidden inner wisdom and silver lining dashing out,

ever so bright

Like her bright smile

On a sunny afternoon

She and I

laying on some random commercial bank’s

front green grassy lawn on the side street in Jupiter

Sharing one Panda Express takeout Chinese food,

listening her singing out loud a heart’s care-free tune

“This land is my land, this land is your land…”

Time of the whole universe suddenly slowing down,

The busy mind of mine finally slowing down and laying low,

So low that I felt like a little flower among green grass

decorating her guitar and her grand emanation

Like a little kid again

So proudly and courageous laying low

With Eyes and mouth wide open,

Slowly seeping

the deliciousness percolating in

some cool spring air

And the softness of earth nourishing the depth and inches of my soul.

An inner sweet heart flower blossoming like the soft opening palm of a new-born baby.

Feeling and Expanding the infinite potential on every inch of this fertile miraculous earth beneath the feet.

Essence of mama Gaia,

beaming and gazing ever so softly and fondly

upon all precious magical beings on earth.

“Hold my heart tenderly

Lead me to my path gently

Coz I’m just a little drop of water

Trying to cross

and find my way

back home”

No more fear of the long dark night,

while using the bathroom with light off,

Learning to spend some time with the naked self,

the most tender part of the self,

the delicate and slow part of the self…

The World are doing their pushing, rushing and hustling…

I am just here sitting with the most vulnerable part of me in this eternal darkness…

feeling and sensing some loneliness,

and some soft meager voices.

I pleaded a license for myself,

one more chance to take a break,

to break free from this old life’s binds and shackles..

and get some ease and rest from the inside-out.

Everyone is working hard to prove something to the rest of the world,

but I just want to dive deeply

into this black bottomless peace,

to gather all the missing pieces

of my serrated fragmented

long lost soul.

No more struggling or fighting off,

the endless inner fear towards this long dark night;

No more running away from this abysmal depth of life

No more silencing towards the discomfort of this long time suppression,

No more living or reliving in the eternal dread

towards some hell’s-week-like bootcamp

Tonight, I dare letting my inner voice out…

to the almighty authorities,

both visible and invisible.

To the most intimidating ones who rule this very kingdom

of unbreakable societal system..

To those who casted such unshakable shackles upon me

I dare you to look right into my heart

I dare you to look upon the most vulnerable and tender part of myself…

the unadulterated and ulcerated inner wounds..

Which me and many weaker ones like me,

have been bearing,

for century long inwardly,

yet were being so ashamed,

and dare not even talking about…

No, no… no more being pushed away…

as secondary, as inferior

as lack of status to be heard,

or even to deserve a voice of my own.

I dare to the rotten root of very system

to look at the jagged line of this

century-long painful gash inside my heart…

They are mine, yet they were yours too…

They are the weights of shame and guilt,

that your almighty hands have been trying so hard to suppress, to hide, to walk pass

and yet eventually pressed down upon me.

No longer being silenced

Finally I am exposing this raw tenderness

Right in front of your eyes

Please look at it.

just be here with me for a moment…

It’s been century long…

it’s been ignored for too long..

Today I dare speaking out this most gentle soft voice

Directed to you

Everyone deserves to be heard and respected,

Every feeling deserves to be valued and validated…

No matter how small the voice is,

or how insignificant the life is,

to your authoritative eyes…

I dare letting all my unjustified helpless voices out

and I dare facing the consequences as well.

Let the stormy punches coming down at me harder and stronger

I am no longer shunning away...

I am here waiting right now,

with all my silenced inner wounds from the past,

with every single tender pieces of my raw existence,

that I have been gathering,

After you have trampled upon them repetitively, and tossed them around in different parts of the world,

throughout the years.

To you, me and many like me were just a joke,

Yet to me, that was the most beautiful and treasurable part of the soul,

more precious than any diamond in the whole world,

After life-time searching,

after being separated for so long,

from my tattered dignity

and fragmented soul…

The one being suppressed,

the one being trampled upon,

tossed, teased off in gazillion places..

I am here to take all my pieces back!

I challenge you,

I challenge your absolute power and biased cruel crooked system,

with my raw naked tender feeling,

and pure vulnerable authenticity,

with my everlasting tenacity

and impenetrable perseverance.

I will swim through all the long dark nights

in eons of time,

since darn of human civilization;

I will thwart through all layers of fire in the land of the dead;

I will scour deeply and thoroughly

through all mire death fields of my lineage of unavenged ancestry,

to gather every single one of my fragmented soul brothers and sisters back,

to confront you with your very crime.

I am bringing back

all our past silenced voices

to Confront you

with every severed missing soul fragments

and every single cut you have done upon each of our tender inner hearts

We are putting down our own two feet, standing stronger than ever.

with no more trembling fears,

Hearts, are not parts!

Some time my mind still lingers upon those days

from the past.

Half a day to gather fire woods,

just so we could have enough fuel to warm up a quarter of the house for half an hour.

The colder the weather,

the snugglier our hearts.

Some time I found myself easily loosing track of the time in doing small stuff

Like watching a cat purring inside your arms

or the hands molding Papier-mâché masks

I remember that day when I spent half a day in sharpening a pencil,

just to write a short note to tuck inside the book I borrowed from you

Or that one month I walked 10 miles each morning

just to bring you the freshly made bread from the oven.

Or that Autumn,

I learned how to count stars in the milky galaxy,

trying to find my way back to your heart.

The sacred silence,

sweet blessing of your soul signature...

falling down gracefully upon my busy life and clouded mind.

A blanket of bliss,

as the beaming sun-gold piercing through my universe.

Fresh morning dew in misty blue mountain,

dawning on a mysterious holiness…

This sacred holiness in

every drop of being around

every aspect of my soul.

Hold my heart tenderly

Lead me to my path gently

Coz I’m just a little drop of water

Trying to cross

and find my way

back home