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distorio
40 Posts • 2 Followers • 2 Following
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distorio
10 reads

According to my mom

Sending “Mixed Signals” is when you do everything BUT sex.

And

“Friends With Benefits” is the same as ’“Mixed Signals” just with sex.

That. Was. An. Awkward Conversation

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distorio
20 reads

Apparently I have a type:

Strong willed, extremely independent and emotionally unavailable women. Divorced with kids.

When will I fucking learn.

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distorio
10 reads

I try sleeping away this pain of being alone

Because my Dreams are a lil less lonely

With you In them.

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distorio
7 reads

I made plans to go out

I got stood up

I texted her

I got no response

I really don’t know why

I keep getting my hopes up.

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distorio
5 reads

Lately, it feels like all I’m doing is holding in my screams.

It doesn’t feel good

It fucking hurts

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distorio
5 reads

Soooooo going out and getting drunk and shitfaced is considered a fun time

BUT

Rolling a joint, smoking said joint, and engaging in deep conversation while cooking dinner is a turn off?

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distorio
9 reads

They say they love me

Just not IN love with me.

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distorio
11 reads

A Good Egg

An Awesome Dude

A Wonderful Guy

I am all these things

So I am told.

But it’s not me

They wanna hold

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distorio
14 reads

I don’t fucking understand women.

I thought it was usually the guy that wants to be Friends With Benefits.

My friends say I deserve better than that.

I dunno. Maybe they’re right.

I just fucking hate being alone.

She said I’m an awesome dude.

Like what the fuck is wrong with me???

Apparently being awesome isn’t enough

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distorio
10 reads

Went on a Donut Date with a 19 year old Young Lady.

She used the word Simp

I 100% did not have a clue what that meant

This is what old must feel like.

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