Thought organization
I've been stalked by the public for at least 5 years now. The whole bullying has been over 7 years. I've been so distracted by their assaults, their millions of attempts to make my reactions as negative as possible. They are damn sadists. They love to see me in pain and become disgusted by the signs of my self-dedication (because they learned from my speeches that I focus, that I value focus, which they become convinced). Now that I've exposed them to the public of the dark side do they gradually lessen. Of course it's not immediately effective because the whole people had committed themselves to those activities, which I became to wonder why they don't mind being told what to do. The early teen perpetrators were holding hands with grown up predatory stalkers. For sure they are racists. Most of the teens were white, those who were strangers to me.
I've should've seen the signs. The imbalance that take me at times are either a proof of lack of exercise or focus. I'm a quite physically talented person. I almost never fall due to tripping over something like they know it (they tried). I've thought fear was what had kept me for so long but it is the lack of trust. Oh gush, it's so uncomfortable to be stalked. It's like my location is reported every where I go, every room I'm in, even everything I'm doing, are all being observed. They analyze every data they get, listening 24 hours straight, all day every day. They didn't try to hide it. They thought I'd never find out because of it's unlikeliness. They have been trying to manipulate me, hypnotizing me by saying stupid to every move I make and tried to as reasonable whys' as possible, if not then no reason at all, and every other things. They really thought that fear is the most powerful tool. They are the greatest, most talented people of all. They used so much assaults. It was their most effective tool. It was possible because most people were so supportive of it. What really trips me thought, is that they didn't want me to make the most dramatic actions because they didn't want to get it in the news. They would be careful not to make me completely hopeless. They knew I was strong, confident in myself, that's why lowering my confidence was the main goal of their moves. They believed that the more susceptible to fear I got, the more cowardy and selfish I'd become. My guess is that they were projecting themselves on me. So many attempts for humiliation. It not come as a shock at all when I saw some of the teachers in my school tried to put me down in the face of the public, to make me look like a bitch for nothing. I didn't even know them lol. It was the first time I sensed their presence, and I'm good at remembering faces. Those stereotypes about Asian women among white people, that they are hoars, "disgusting" was my first impression on them, I was shocked I didn't know that for 9 years and it was not just a few people. I was on high(severe) stress most of the time during my middle and high school years, it didn't have much impact. it was about 6 and a half years until I realized that those people were being scumbags rather than assholes, and I felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. They really wanted a toy, they still do but they are always discouraged by society in some way or the other, so they hide it. They love their feeling of power and feeling smart. They would always be wanting to boast about themselves or to prove that they're smart. It was almost pitiful. These days, it just looks stupid. I pity them for it, though they never are innocent. They are constantly trying put me down. I know they were being ignorant but their cruelties turned my head to different facts. What makes it (괘씸하다) is that over 60% of them were and are total strangers to me, I'm talking about middle and high school btw. As I moved to CA, the people were the perpetrators. Meaning it was in a scale of at least the whole US and South Korea. I was treated the same when I went to visit Korea while the bullying was at its peak. It was very disappointing. I bet there's a live air right now that's been accessed by people all around the world in translations. Or maybe all stalkers were on to me. I was followed at all times, evidence was spoken loudly (many/most of the time/es shouted) by the people(the crowd) around me wherever I went, female or male. My name was never audibly mentioned. I was and still am their toy for sadistic, sexual, obsessive, power-hungry desires. I was betrayed of my trust by almost everyone. It'd be too cruel to let these traits be passed on to the next generation. One of the biggest problems that sets my situation apart from most sexual bullying (which is surprisingly common, too common) is that most people had deeply encrypted in their minds to normalized sexual assault, at least in the US and South Korea. It may be that their disgusting nature was pushed inside from the being seen. I'm highly sure of that. As I've researched, predatory stalkers are very cruel, most of them end up killing their victims. I've wondered why these extremists didn't kill me yet. It became real to me that I may be targeted for their murder. I believe in myself, my mentors, and the future. The recent Russo-Ukrain War proves how common aggression is in our current world. My situation wouldn't be that rare. It is clear that things like this have happened for a very long time. I don't know if this would be considered lucky or unlucky. I hope, in a near future, society would be encouraging enough for everyone to understand what's best for themselves (and everyone else).
Side note. I was lucky. They were doing a gamble and they knew it. They believe they are brave, intelligent, and scary. I had my karma, and they had theirs. The point of history I was in kept me from getting killed. It's too bad that I didn't do better. It is our mission to get rid of this rape culture and every discrimination. I WILL to do better. I should've respected the promises I made for myself. Should've been more positive. It's like I've been cured in hatred. Most people don't consider the people who are the most submissive to their inner demons because they are hidden. These are also important audiences because they don't know why it's bad, no matter how smart, skillful, creative, or talented they are. Also, they are very familiar with it, most of them. It's likely that they've almost became to think that it's right, that it's okay or really convinced. We would have to change their perspective 180 degrees.