My One Do- Over

When I was 4 years old, my Grandmother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, but a couple of months later she ended up being cured. When I was 9, she was once again diagnosed with breast cancer, and although she once again ended up defeating it, the cancer ended up taking a greater toll on her mind and body. My grandmother grew to forget small things over time, and confused the voices of mine and that of my brother, and even my mom. Ultimately, it was when I was 12 when everything fell to pieces. Instead of Breast Cancer this time though, she was diagnosed with Endometriosis Cancer. Now, my Grandmother was strong, but that cancer ravaged her mind, body, and soul, until- well until she died. To this day I regret not being there for her in her last moments. It simply hurt too much to see someone you love in that state, watching as they slowly and agonizingly die. And my Grandmother, as sick as she was, was intelligent, and I know that deep in her heart she felt a sadness over the fact that her loved ones were fearful of seeing her. And that hurts. The fact that in her final moments we couldn’t all be there for her like we wanted too. So if there is one thing that I would do over, I would tell my Nana that I love her. I love her so much. And that I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.