make her go away

please, Lord,

make her go away

i don't want the green-tinted memories.

i don't want the ones where we walk in sunshine-coated fields and she tells me terrible things.

i don't want the ones where she tells me in the dark september night that i'll come back.

i don't want the ones where she stands over me while i play at sleep.

i don't want the ones where she sits across from me in her kitchen and stares.

i don't want the ones where we laugh and we cry and we pretend.

i don't want these memories anymore. i don't want them.

please make her go away.

I have been drinking

gasoline my entire life…

unknowingly, maybe.

I have felt warmness

in people, places, activities.

Sometimes the warmth

felt comfortable,

as if I was settling

in a life that I could find

pleasant, yet regretfully

looking into myself

for fulfillment.

Then there was you-

a firecracker,

a match,

a flame that touched

my mouth

under stars burning

shared stories.

With remnants

of the fuel on my lips,

you set my body ablaze.

What will you do if I say I feel neglected?

Speak all the love and

Save the hate for later.

×∞ Adin

28 May 2021