what i know and what i don’t
there are things that i know and others that i don't
i know you
on a warm summer day with melting ice cream dripping all over our toes
in the dead of winter when the ground freezes over and we have to slide across the driveway to our rusty truck
when the sun is out and i can see every inch of you
under the covers at night with just your hands and mine
i don't know myself
myself. a half-formed, incomplete being
she is unknown to me
who am i in the summer? barely dressed in the heat
exposed and unsure
who am i in the winter? huddled under thin blankets with only myself for warmth
safe from the demons guarding my door
who am i in the day? illuminated by the bright sun
when my reflection in the puddles don't really look like me
who am i in the night? with my eyes closed and nothing in my head
i can't bring myself to learn myself then either
so how will i ever
come with me
come with me, you tell me
but i hear the threat in your words
the promise of what will happen if i say no
my dreams are haunted by you
but so is my reality
and my wrists ache as i remember what your love means
and what it brings with it
i carry the memories of you always
i am your prisoner
you whisper to me, till the end