"Mommy, look! I found a flower!"

"Of course you did sweetheart."

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"When Daddy comes back, can I give this to him?"

"Daddy might be gone for a really long time sweetheart."

"Oh. But..."

"Tell you what. If Daddy comes back, I'll get you more than one flower."

"Two flowers?"

"More than two flowers."

"Why do I get more than one flower Mommy?"

"Because you deserve more than what I can give you sweetheart. You deserve to live with as many flowers and in a beautiful home."

"Like a castle?"

"Yes. Like a castle."

"With princes and princesses and dragons!"

"But aren't dragons the bad guys, Your Royal Highness?"

"You and Daddy can protect me!"

"Charlie..."

"When's Daddy coming home Mommy?"

"I don't know princess. I don't know."

split

bled

torn

sewed

burned

charred

ashed

free

they

feed me,

clothe me,

shelter me,

advise me,

love me?

influence me,

help me,

but,

most of all,

they enslave me

Life is where reality overtakes dreams. 

Life is where you have to try for your dreams to come true. 

Life is where family and friends stand with you. 

Life is where you forgive betrayal and create new bonds. 

Life is where you can always meet someone regardless of age. 

Life is where talking to a stranger is the same as meeting a friend. 

Abner Louima was beaten by a NYPD officer. 

Sean Bell was killed on his wedding day by an undercover officer. 

Amadou Diallo was shot at 41 times for being accused of a rapist. 

Randolph Evans was shot by an officer for unknown reasons. 

All the same issues but different names. 

Who do I write to right now? Do I write to myself? Do I write for everyone out there struggling like me? What do I say? That I'm selfish? Alex died, Mom died, Dad died; who else do I have? When Mom and Dad died, Alex was there for me. He would pull me into his chest and I would sob my heart out. He would pick me up and cuddle with me in bed. But now, who is left? Why does everyone have to leave me? Every day, I struggle with my job and my bills. If I die, would anyone miss me besides the tax collector? I lived on very little before. Now, I have nothing else to do but to survive. But what is life if I only survive?

The beauty in life,

how I stand out;

disapproval in my work,

disgust from others,

flaws I found in me.

Adapting,

changing,

leaving the younger me.