i keep standing at the edge of reality

watching the moon pull in the tides

waves crashing against the shore

of an abandoned beach

balancing on the brink of losing myself

it's a cold night,

the wind carries away my tears

adding salt to the ocean

my toes hang off the edge

a breath lingers on my lips

the moon gazes down forlornly

as my glazed eyes wander the sky

fingers reaching tentatively toward something that isn't there

in the empty night air

a shell of a girl

who lost her soul

.

.

.

when you fell asleep at my house,

i traced my finger down your cheek

over the freckles sprinkled across your face

over your hidden dimples

over your sweet cherry lips

i leaned down,

feeling your breath on my cheek

your soft lips parted

and it took all i had

not to kiss you.

because we're just friends,

you and i,

we braid each others hair

sleepover every other day

whisper velvet secrets

but you smell so sweet

and when i look into your eyes,

i forget to breathe

your dimples

were they left by the deep kiss of an angel?

at school when you run to him

and he kisses you

you look at him with your soft doe eyes

i clench my fists

my fingernails dig into my skin

until they draw blood

you're so cruel

when will you realize?

that you torture me

with your smile

and

your

dimples

she is a mystery, the moon,

hidden behind her silver curtains

an elusive silhoutte

against the inky black sky

she dances unseen,

sings unheard,

whispers in secrets

only the tides can understand

When I looked into his eyes, I saw a vast darkness that skimmed the edges of infinity. His smile, his words, his gestures -- everything was warm, comforting; the only secrets lay hidden in his eyes, grey eyes that lay flat and shine with an eerie onyx blackness. Torn from his back were ebony feathers that shone with a dark, glittering magic, making my skin tingle and my eyes burn. I reached out to trail my fingers along them, the seductive magic calling my name. They burned the tips of my fingers, seared my skin, and yet I couldn't pull away; a deep panic started in my chest, and I woke up, panting, in bed.

Eyes wide, I clutched the sheets with white knuckles and heaved breath after breath. My eyes flitted around in the darkness and the comfort of my room engulfed me; I steadied, waitting for my rapid heartbeat to slow.

I had dreamed of him again. He was an elusive nightmare, I could recall faint edges and bits and pieces that were blurred and jagged. I remember a smirk, revealing sharp edged teeth and eyes that glinted grey in the darkness. The wings were the only clear image that lingered, the feeling of lightning pulsing through my veins as I stroked the silken feathers.

Was he a fallen angel, or the devil? Something faint tapped at the back of my mind, a memory long lost, curled in the ivy of my subconcious and untangible. I could never be sure, but what I did know, from that eerie chill that crawled up my spine, was that he was hunting me. I could feel him, a dark and beautiful presence, lingering in the shadows of what I could not rememeber.

And yet, somehow, I hoped he would find me.

when we kiss it's fire, burning our lips and tongues and teeth. we can't pull away, can't look away, my eyes lock onto yours; your kiss trails down my neck, leaving fire in its wake. your breath makes me shiver, your whispers linger in my ear.

i love you(r touch).

you make me fire, you make me burn, fiery and passionate and bright, until i can't take it anymore. until my fingers are burnt at the tips and i cry ashes and my hair smells of smoke.

i hate you.

we do not love each other. there's nothing in your eyes but desire, and it burns me to look.

the warm touch of love is soft and sweet, leaving butterflies in its wake and honey dripping from my fingers. but this is lust, and it burns and hurts and chokes me until i can't breathe,,, but i can't let go of you,

i want you

to burn me. x

xx

killing me softly

your gentle touch

shivers

shivers on my skin

fluttering like my heart

against

my chest

x

memories of your lips

on my skin

the ghost of your touch

haunts me

x

your hands

cup me perfectly

warm against my chest

leaving goosebumps

in their wake

x

your breath against

my neck

touch me softly

trace my skin

with your fingertips

x

hold me against your chest

do you feel something

or are you just

holding on tight

please

don’t let me go

i may just

fall

apart

xx

because

"we are living this life

for the first time."

for a moment,

i had forgotten.

this life.

this moment.

you only get one chance.

so embrace every moment.

make mistakes,

laugh them off.

after all,

this is your first try,

and after all,

this is your

first life.

-

-

-

i miss writing.

i miss pencil against paper.

i miss the scratch of the lead, the smooth flow of the words, the tree-scent of the rustling paper.

i miss the feeling of creating something beautiful in my own words.

the reason i love to write is because you create instead of follow ⁠— no equations, methods, rules, or calculations.

you're just ⁠— free. free to make whatever you want.

free to let yourself run wild.

i miss being free.

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