this sphere in me

gravitates to yours without thinking

(just feelings, trembling, and vibrating to the movements

of your molecules)

still sensing each thread of your fabric

between my fingers

each tilted beam of light that has marked my skin

with your touch,

searching for air

in the vastness of this cosmos

that lacks of oxygen,

these lungs filter with stars instead of crimson

these veins are filled

with fragmented daisies and poppy petals

all dancing in my system

on paved yellow bricked walls

that lead to the Sun

I have always yearned for

and that captivated my dreams for so long,

in your presence I find air

that doesn't just fill my lungs

I find air that reaches to the deepest corners

of my being

and fills it with relief

with new smells, and bright new colors

this sphere in me

gravitates to yours without thinking, without knowing

it calls you, it reaches out

knowing that it will not rest

until our spheres come once again as one

I had someone once that was made of cosmic dust

rebelious, full of life

always falling down from a star

someone both strong and fragile ( but aren't we all like that? )

and the stars she would fall down from

were always constructed

of sharp-cut edges

( they sparkled beautifully

reflected in the moon but they caused wounds, they caused red tears

in between the fabric of her heart )

I felt someone once that was made of cosmic dust

they bled with moondrops

sugar and traumas held too tight,

they kept their innocence

even when the world

kept crushing their shell, their armour

I met someone once that

was made of cosmic dust,

of glitter and the biggest of hearts

a someone I tried to glue back together

after each of their falls

I took a needle and countless moon threads

to mend what was damaged

I helped, I soothed

but she was never mine to fix,

and after light years from that time

I have found that what needed

to be mended

was only for her to heal

I knew someone once

that was made of cosmic dust

and now they are a new born planet

that learned how to breathe

in their own beautiful cosmic depths

and as painful as it was

you becoming a planet on your own

without my help, without my moonlit soul

gave me the power to become a planet of my own

a cosmic dust that found her own home

a melody just for her

the tenderness of your stare

brings warmth to my wounds,

my fractured scars

it wraps them around in a blanket

( and they have been cold

for so long, you see )

you heal pieces of past traumas

without even knowing it, my dearest

the ones that have been with me

for years ( decades? yes, perhaps )

and you do it

just by the love that pulsates

out of that universe

that sometimes you let me see

out of those deep brown, amber hues

there is silence left in your temporary absence

a silence that roars in me

without making even a sound

but I hear it all around me

pressing at my walls

banging at my doors

shouting in whispers

murmuring in earthquakes,

a power field that rings only between my cells

my atoms

between the fibers of my skin

a beat of drums around me

heated, vibrated air

all caused by a red string

entangling both of our souls

I am forever missing

the warmth of your body, the feel of your lips

those arms wrapped around me

holding our home,

but I am now reminded

how it is to last without your voice

the look of your eyes

how it is to have only shreds of your presence,

just glimpses of you

I await you back, my dear

I left a light for you

_ _ _ _ _

and though I might sound melodramatic at times

a real poet

a heart on a careless sleeve,

a tidal wave crushing against the countless shores

of emotions and feels

and yet,

every word is true

every feeling

each sigh

every pulsating heartbeat that speaks of you

your soul is stirring darling

between hues

of amber,

bronze, and honey

you are wine,

burgundy tones mixed with love

caramel and chocolate

that tastes so good on the tongue

I reach for that taste

I reach for you

constantly diving past time and place

shifting, twisting, and bending

into a supernova trapped in a fragile flesh

I reach for you past the layers of human

moving to the sides of physical

as if opening my chest

from the inside

too crammed in the golden cage

made by bones

sliding fingers past the ribbed doors

counting twelve to the right

and twelve to the left

feeling my soul erupt

and set itself free

ten thousand lifetimes

too far away from you ( exhale it and swallow )

and ten thousand lifetimes

yet to come

(inhale and feel your heartbeat,

let it stretch its wings)

this home that I feel with you

is eternal

it will never crumble down and waste away

for it does not have walls

it's not built of concrete or wooden beams

it's made of soul threads

and a red string

that's always at the tip of my fingers

always twisting itself around your name

I spread myself like ashes

in the dark

the warmest snow known to men,

these grey and red-colored flakes

made from the remains

of my soul,

( of my shell-shaped heart )

can you see it?

can you feel it?

tell me that you do

tell me it runs through your bloodstream

that it ignites your bones

that it paints crimson threads

between my fingertips

and yours

it's those stars that speak of flame

and dust

that love that exhales peacefully

in the midst of chaos

that sigh of relief

when the last galaxy in you has exploded

that exhale of surrender

bringing you to your knees

( multiple colored reflections

of the universe's song

vibrating inside your core

like a melody long forgotten

but forever present,

the most familiar echo

the sweetest whisper

that primal fire of the first breath

that synergy of all things that has led

me

to you )

I spread myself like ashes

in the dark, my love

the warmest snow known to men ,

I paint my bones with the black dust

from long-gone heartbeats

of Nebula's once golden tears

and the diamond longing

of all the Supernovas that came before me

their ink-dark powder covering my skin

so I can imitate the night sky

and shine

like never-ending clusters

of falling stars ,

so when I jump

into the abyss above

I will find my way to you

I will find my way to my other half of the night sky

I will find you there covered

in the same dust

skin shimmering with the softest embrace

of the cosmos that is now also mine,

I feel you now

you're calling my name

murmurning it so gently

against the loudness

that surrounds me

against the always present buzzing

of the human kind

I hear you

and my legs start running

my feet thud a rhythm against the ground

I jump

I leap

I fall

breathlessly and helplessly

into your sphere

like an unstoppable force never to be tamed

I take your hand

and our fingertips touch

the red thread connecting us

swirling

and twisting

around our wrists

gravity no longer holding it back

( like an underwater current,

so gentle in its caress )

there is no beginning to it

nore end

just a gentle string

moving to an elegant dance

a unique choreography designed

for the hearts beating

under our ribs

like pulsating drums

for the souls breathing between our scars

and hopes

like the softest

breeze of a summer's night

my sky whispers to yours

home is here

home is now

home is with you

I counted myself in bruises

I counted myself in scars

touching myself like a rough sketch

dented and pressed in

by the cursive lines

of your blazing, deep-scorched love

callused fingers

imprinting themselves

in the tattooed road map of my spine

these flames of yours

branding stars into my skin

( ash-colored freckles that you like so much on me )

I get so lost on you

turning greedily into dust

only to find myself

as my fire consumes everything in its reach

demolish me, love

purify my sins

cleans the dirt from under my bones

speak to me in fire

in light

in the language of all our past lives

I'm not breathing either,

I'm just floating around

because I left my body with you

in our bed

I left my heart in your hands,

( I feel you stroke it still

every day with your thumbs )

I left my soul spread over a chair near our window,

I know you see it

before you fall asleep

I know you hear it whispering your name

in the softest of ways

my love,

I cannot find rest until I'm resting here with you

in our bed

in your arms

gliding my fingertips

over your heart

as you move the night stars back into my lungs

and yet, it moves

and yet it blooms. Grows.

expanding like a galaxy of colors under the fragile flesh