On the third day of always

The forever man arrived

With a bag full of yesterdays

That had somehow survived

He had transcended time

And flown across space

For he'd learned of our crime

And he knew what we'd face

Our folklore had told

That when ours was done

The new time and the old

Would just melt into one

He'd been to forever

And thus he was named

But he didn't know whether

We could justly be blamed

We were given a world

And we ruined its past

When its future unfurled

It just couldn't last

With so many now dead

And more death on its way

He cradled our head

And showed us yesterday

Like a slideshow from god

What we had was on view

The green where we trod

And the oceans when blue

But with each passing shot

All the greens turned to brown

We'd put a match to the lot

And in black seas we'd drown

We realised too late

Why this man from elsewhere

Was showing us our fate

When the time's past to care

He said 'Know your sin'

As his time overflowed

After pulling the pin

So our star would explode

On the fourth day of always

We were finally gone

With nothing but haze

For the moon to pull on

And the man from forever

Knew that there'd be more

He just hoped that he'd never

Need knock on their door...

"i make everyone uncomfortable,"

you said

as you stood up

from the heavyweight chair

and announced why you were here with us in group.

you did not make anyone squirm,

but we couldn't say that

unless we raised our hands

and asked for permission,

so we all kept our shaking fingers

in our laps

and let silence spread

like the plague.

your chestnut brown eyes hid behind thick-framed glasses,

but they looked kinder than everyone else's-

reflected hints of hope hung in your pupils.

your words sounded like recovery

and your crooked smile looked like

you were getting there.

at snack time,

we played five rounds of uno together

and you made me laugh

for the first time

since my admission.

you cracked jokes and your knuckles

repeatedly-

so much so that

it almost felt like

we weren't in a hospital,

sitting in plastic chairs

across from each other's

inpatient bracelet.

we'd never spoken before that

and

we never spoke again.

to tell the truth,

i don't think you even knew my name.

you left early the next morning

and you did not say goodbye to me.

considering that we were both just patients passing through,

that was fine.

i guess i didn't impact your life as much as you impacted mine.

5/10/15

I promise they'll never find us

I could care less that this is all a mistake

Gods were made by men

Oranges made by anonymous

Paintings made by your hands and past experiences

Don't have long discussions with the mad

Don't play a roaring game with the lion of the pride

The occult shops

The many boxes of pandora

I believe I'm right when I say I don't know if I'm right

I trust the humbleness in that statement

And I allow that question to be a thesis I write for the days of my life

The leaves are whistling

The sun has been coerced by grey clouds

I'm whistling

And I have been coerced by grey clouds

I failed

I could've...

I should've...

I could...

I can't...

I shouldn't have...

I couldn't have...

I'll remember this moment.

I'll forget the important ones.

I'll embarrass myself

I'll embarrass my family

My friends

Acquaintances

Strangers

Everyone

I'm self-absorbed, but not confident enough...

I'm too quiet, but too loud...

I'm not trying, but I'm trying too hard...

I'm too skinny, but I eat too much...

I say depressing things, but I act superficial...

I have too much on my mind, but I'm too dismissive...

I always talk about my problems, but I can't make small talk...

I'm exaggerating

I'm telling the truth

I need to stop

I have to keep going

I forgot what day it is

I forgot what day it was

I forgot to say goodnight

I forgot to say goodbye

I'm a terrible friend.

It's late. I'm tired.

Go to sleep, brain. Please.

define love

is it smiles exchanged and crushes denied

on the playground beneath cloudless skies

running away to giggle and hide

is that love?

define love

is it being stuffed in a pleather seat

as the bus bumps down the street

his smile crooked as his teeth

jostled jumbled and almost free

is that love?

define love

is it the crunch of autumn leaves

crumbling beneath trudging feet

as your hands almost nearly meet

and his voice you can feel tingling

midnight whispered phone calls ringing

is that love?

define love

is it miles apart in the middle of the night

recounting memories

is it fight or flight

for a future somehow combined

is that love?

define love

is it three years of promises

naked bodies and common knowledge

everything that hurts forgotten

comfort when you're feeling rotten

is that love?

define love

is it the pen and ink

straining your every exhale

staining your entrails

seeping through pores like rainwater set to boil

is that love?

because if it's not I don't know what is

and if I'm lost then I don't know where I live

because this is home and your arms are bliss

show me truly what love is