# 40 SHE WALKED AWAY ’CAUSE I NEVER ASKED HER TO STAY
There was this envelope and a white sheet of paper folded neatly and kept over it. I took a closer look at it and picked up the paper which read my name.
"Leonid"
I knew the writing was about to blow me and I slowly unfolded it to its normal size and read.
"
Leonid,
Remember you told me once that we were parallel lines ? Well yes, I do accept the fact that we are. You are different and so am I.
You know sometimes it better to let go off things which we can't control.Well, I had been holding on to this for quite a while and yes finally ! I'm out. And you are free to live. No fights, no disappointments, no regrets.
I hope you have a beautiful life ahead. And I guess you'll find your happiness with my leave. I'm sorry for the things I did to you. I never intended to hurt anyone. But things just didn't work out.
But there's something I need you to know. Maybe you would laugh!
Leonid I , fell for you. I fell for you each day and I don't expect anything in return. I don't want you to love me, cause like you said "Parallel lines! "and I guess it was best for me to leave. Sometimes we do need to fall apart.
I don't blame you for anything, its just that I'm too tired of running away!
So this is how it ends. Maybe one fine day we'll meet again. Till then,
Bye.
Natasha.
PS: For the divorce, here's the advocates number ********** . Do get in touch with her( Advocate Anna ).
She left.
.
.
.
I sat down on the bed still holding the sheet of paper in my hand. I hadn't opened the envelope yet, maybe I was scared too?! I stared blankly at the white ceiling of my bedroom and watched the fan go round about above me.
I'm so scared to touch happiness only to have it taken away again. Maybe that's why I push everyone away and that's why I'm so guarded. It happens to everyone. Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels. And I didn't know why I was falling apart. She had never meant anything to me! Everything was just a deal!! But I knew my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces , maybe because I knew I wouldn't have anyone to fight with me anymore, no one to trouble me everyday. But , I was happy she left. Yes. I was. Things happen for a reason.
My carefree free grin, turned into an unexplained sadness.
I lay on the bed, thinking about all the things I wish I could say. All the things I'm too afraid to admit. I was happy and sad, rambunctious and quiet but mostly, I was just empty. The guard I had created was broken. I didn't want to be vulnerable again and maybe Caderick was right when he said, I was stronger because of her! But she was the one to make me weak at the first place.
I closed my eyes and decided to make a fresh new start tomorrow. I knew things would be different and I was glad it would be.
Changes were necessary.
"
She danced under the moon light, dressed in snowflakes.
And he was the warrior of the sun.
They weren't meant to be together.
But every morning the way the sunshine fragile-ly kissed the lining of the snow was, as if , they were living for nothing but, each other.
"
.
.
.
7:00 am
I smiled at myself in the mirror.
Yes. I was free. Finally.
I went downstairs. The place was just as it was like before expect for the fact that it, lacked her presence. My eyes fell on Natasha's room. I sighed and I don't know why was pulled in there.
I stood by the door and looked inside. It was empty. I felt that pain in my chest again. I stepped in and looked around.
"Why did we ever meet! "
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath and I remembered the night she and I had a fight in here. That strange feeling like last night arose within me, again. Why couldn't I just get over it?! How could I expect her to stay with me! She left cause she had too. That is how it was meant to be.
"She walked away, cause I never asked her to stay" I murmured to myself.
I shooed away my thoughts and walked out of the room, trying to suppress that internal conflict I was going through.
I got myself I quick breakfast and left for office.
It was around 7:30 that I stepped into the office building and no sooner had I done so I found eyes on me. I didn't understand at first when suddenly I heard someone cough behind. I turned around to find Mack standing there. I balled up my fists. I could break his face any moment, I knew.
"Congrats bro! " he said and I felt him slap my shoulder lightly.
"Excuse me! " I said trying to cut the crap for this early morning melodrama.
"Natasha left !..... You must be so happy.. Right?! " he said plastering a smile.
"Tch tch tch.. so much care !! " I said making a sarcastic face.
"Yeah you know what ! I'm not used to play with emotions.. And in that case people too" he snapped back. Feelings I tell you! I had always known that Mack had a soft corner for Petrin and each passing moment it was becoming more obvious.
I didn't know whether I should have hit him that moment or not but I sure knew that I had to fire him.
"Really!!.... But I do! " I said giving in with, the sarcasm.
"Awww... We all know that Mr. Leonid Nicolaev ... " he said doing a little pout.
I stepped closer to him and he sternly looked at me. There wasn't inch of fear on his face but I knew how to bring it back. Fear.
"Watch out... Before you actually have to be begging for jobs, again! " I said and left without giving him a chance to answer.
.
.
.
I went straight to my cabin, turned around towards the window with the earphones plugged in and looked straight out. The sea. Again.
What I find quite fascinating about this life we live, is that no matter what happens, the world continues to spin and it goes on. Having a dark cloud hang over your head, puts you in a dark place. It surrounds you with thoughts that eat you up. It tears you down and beats you up and you blame yourself. But its not your fault. And that feeling when the storm passes, you have overcome the troubles, darkness and you can finally breathe. You become, fearless.
I pulled out the head phones and faced the table when the door opened. I raised my brows to her entrance. Anya.
She was swift with her moves and this was the only thing I liked about her. She hated wasting time.
She kept the files on my desk. I looked down at them and then back at her.
"I need your signs on them! " she said with an irritated face.
"Don't you think Natasha should be sign--" but she snapped me in between.
"Natasha, doesn't work here anymore" she said and pushed the files in my direction.
She resigned from the job that meant to her so much, for me?!
I started blankly at Anya's face and finally opened the files to sign them.