I want to be something to someone.

Addiction

Cocaine, pills, cigarette's, people.

They are all an addiction.

An addiction to try to end the pain.

The pain doesn't stop though. It never goes away, never ceases to appear. I think the worst part is that the drugs, they numb the pain and so do the people for a while. Until they become what is causing you pain. Human beings hurt worst of all, out of all the depression and sadness, humans are the most disappointing. We are so disposable. People bring you in, make you feel and then drop you like a bad habit. They drop you like nothing. It makes you feel worthless. I'm used to coming second, no not even second, tenth to everyone else. There is always someone better than me, and no one ever chooses me over someone else. I'm used to being the last option, the lonely option. It's hard not to be sad when no one ever chooses you first. I want to be the girl someone loves unconditionally, the girl Someone can't imagine there lives without. The girl who someone is in love with and the girl someone can picture being with for a life time. I want to be that girl. Tenth place doesn't make it easy to be that for someone.