Acceleration

I couldn't seem to find myself

I felt completely lost

So I looked in the fridge

Evryday and always

Ten times a day

Sometimes even twenty

And Evry night I were dying of cancer

Or a heart attack

Because my heart would simply just stop

So I tried really hard to find myself

So I would not die

And I loomed

In books and brains

And crazy theories

So that my head would make sense again

And every night I would find a new lump

In my chest and neck and face

And my lungs would collapse

And my throat would tighten

And I couldn't breathe

Nor sleep nor rest

So I looked for myself again

In clothing ads

And in housing magazines

I chopped of my hair

Got a pair of new glasses

And painted my nails in different colors

Yesterday

and everyday

and always

- Because maybe that's where she'd gone

And the days went by and by

And every night

I kept on dying

Finding new lumps

Crying

Because cancer would eat me alive

So I kept on looking

In cupboards

And thousands of cups of coffee

I redecorated my house franticly

Three times 

four times

Even Five times

But my baby was gone

And won't ever come back

And still I can't seem to find

- Myself