Camp David Discord

"OK we're in a tree. Why?"

"Have a drink."

"Jesus you guys really do carry it everywhere. Would you put your shirt back on please?"

"For a fat old man you climb well. Drink! Do you really grab them by the pussy?"

"Hagh. I need a chaser...Jesus. Sometimes."

"You are new to politics! I lie there and beckon them to molest me."

"That is certainly one to try, Vladimir. May I call you Vladimir?"

"We have drunk vodka together and talked of women. Now to business. I will pull out of Syria if you will scream like a chicken and fly from this tree."

"You're kidding."

"No I'm  serious.  Yell like a chicken and leap for the ground."

"No, you're testing me. You want to see how far you can push me."

"Well done old man! NATO is in good hands. "

"I have a counterproposal. You join NATO and we'll pull out of the UN."

"Ha ha ha!"

"Seriously."

"No no no. Now you are joking with me."

"How can you tell?"

"You didn't tweet about it first."

"Ouch."

"Aw, now I have offended! Save your wits for how you'll get down."

"Same as you I expect."

"No my friend, shirtless super Vlad will simply jump."

"Yeah?"

"Yes! And now AAAAH!"

"Ugh. Oh my God."

"Bloated idiot! You could have killed me!"

"Let that be lesson Putin. You never know when I'll pounce. Like a jungle cat. An ocelot? A jaguar. Pounce like a jaguar. Help me stand up."

"Soil yourself!"

"Aw come back! Gah. Still a better summit than Vienna. Foo. Gotta breathe a minute."