To You Who Loved Me, Blind and Clean
My Darling,
I kneel beside you
Your last breath no longer
Beading sweet moisture along my fingers
As I've weaved them into yours
To watch you pass into a light you were born of
Your chest will never rise with your lungs again
And your lips are silent once and for all
I can feel the tick of your second hand
Slowing with each beat of your heart
I now know for certain that you will go first
I never imagined this moment
Me waiting for the end as you sleep
I always saw this much differently
I wanted to leave first
So that you could be given a place to grow
Without my weight
The freedom to move on to someone more
Honest and deserving
Of the pedestal you keep
In place for the one you hold
We have made a promise
To find one another when we leave these bodies
One I knew I'd not be
Allowed to keep
Beyond my own existence here
You swore to me that you would
Wait on the other side
With pink roses
In the place where you first
Had me as your own
My love, you are going
I cannot let you wander in vain
I have given you all of my white
And my shining
All of the afterglow and sweetness
Of a loyal soul, to you that I have been
But I have only shown you what I wanted you to see
And I have lied to you day after day
So that you believed you walked this soil
Hand in hand with purity by your side.
Where you are meant to be now
Will not allow the wickedness of a devil
The heart behind this mask is black to all but you
This love alone is not enough
To take me to where you are made to go
I have given to you with everything
Decent inside me
But darling
You are the only thing
That has kept me good
Before you
I was a scavenger
Feeding and cursed to life
After you
I will be so again
Do not wait for me, Love
Eternity is a fee far too great
A price you should never pay
For what I have to offer
Move forward from the stench of me
A beauty like yours
Cannot be left to linger
In wait
For such a crooked
Smile as mine