I am nemo, until I’m aliquis.

Even to myself, I am no one until I am someone. Whether I like it or not, I am nobody until I'm somebody to another consciousness that makes up this reality. By myself, I'm merely an idea, a network of concept thoughts of possibility waiting for actualization.

Alone (away from the world,) what I say and do remains nothingness to everyone but me, like a flower blossoming inside an uninhabited dried out log. Only if that flower grows tall enough to peak out of the log to be seen at a distance, or makes enough fragrance to be smelled from elsewhere, will its existence be known, unless an observing animal (human or otherwise) happen upon it for discovery, on the way to somewhere or something else. 

Even in my present, I am a memory to most who've known me at all-- only someone during reflection of past events-- otherwise, often irrelevant. Like a book they've forgot they read.

Solo, in the shower, I am water-usage.

By myself, in bed (in the dark) I am a heat signature.

In solitude, reading, I am an unknown observer, a ghost in another world.

I am always me but the context of who I am only has depth in the presence of a sentient mind. When I boil it down, I have to share myself to be someone. Share my presence in places others are, or will be. Share my thoughts and feelings when there's sentience to give me substance in the living world.

After all, alone behind stone walls in the silence of my own being, I am only ever who I was to those who knew me, because there's no external context to who I am in that moment (religious & spiritual beliefs aside.) In the corporeal world with which I reside, living isn't the same as existing. Who I really am only has weight and meaning when engaged or in the presence of other life, without it, I may be alive but I may as well, not exist.

I'm the kind of person who thinks about these things...

|| another_proser ||