Live or Quit, Who Gives a Shit

Too many thoughts rage rampant in my head

i only want to die in the seclusion of my bed.

Negative stigma across this putrid globe

Just a tweak from a shotgun to my frontal lobe.

Who am i kidding? i'm fucking chicken shit.

Pills in bottles, bottles of vodka; that should do the trick.

But if i wake with my head in a vice,

Just stagger toward the kitchen and slice slice slice.

Not the fucking oranges, bread, or 'nanners,

i'll not burn the toast, i know my manners.

But my branded skin will see a new scar,

The greatest relief for my mind by far.

You see, when i burn the world goes away

And the pain is my friend, but it's too fleeting a stay.

So i hide my shame and scabs and pain,

Told i'm acting like a girl, so i do it again.

That was yesterday; I've sunshine in my cup.

Promise of a new start; I'd love to sober up.

Can't explain why the thoughts get so dark,

Just see life as desolate and stark.

i worry all the time about shit i can't control

i worry all the time i'm sinking in a hole

i worry all the time about my stinking life

I worry every time I see a gleaming knife.

Too many thoughts rampantly raging in my brain!

This ain't teenage angst; i've grey hair circling the drain,

If i told you i have cancer would you say get over it?

A pharmacy of meds and i'm still losing my shit.