Too many thoughts rage rampant in my head

i only want to die in the seclusion of my bed.

Negative stigma across this putrid globe

Just a tweak from a shotgun to my frontal lobe.

Who am i kidding? i'm fucking chicken shit.

Pills in bottles, bottles of vodka; that should do the trick.

But if i wake with my head in a vice,

Just stagger toward the kitchen and slice slice slice.

Not the fucking oranges, bread, or 'nanners,

i'll not burn the toast, i know my manners.

But my branded skin will see a new scar,

The greatest relief for my mind by far.

You see, when i burn the world goes away

And the pain is my friend, but it's too fleeting a stay.

So i hide my shame and scabs and pain,

Told i'm acting like a girl, so i do it again.

That was yesterday; I've sunshine in my cup.

Promise of a new start; I'd love to sober up.

Can't explain why the thoughts get so dark,

Just see life as desolate and stark.

i worry all the time about shit i can't control

i worry all the time i'm sinking in a hole

i worry all the time about my stinking life

I worry every time I see a gleaming knife.

Too many thoughts rampantly raging in my brain!

This ain't teenage angst; i've grey hair circling the drain,

If i told you i have cancer would you say get over it?

A pharmacy of meds and i'm still losing my shit.

I'm sick of this fight. 

It's late in the night, 

Monsters in sight 

I tremble in fright

To the voices' delight. 

They close in on me 

I long to be free

A break from this misery

My life is a tradgedy 

From outside, it looks like comedy

All the silly things that scare me.

Maybe I'm right

I'm not crazy! I might

Just be gifted with sight. 

You can't see the frights

That lurk in the night. 

My heart longs to ignite

With insanity's delights,

But now I'll sit tight

And wait for the light.