Rejection by Email

          She checks her email for the 18th time that day, "This is the last time." she lies to herself. Her heart begins to race as soon as she sees: Re: article submission. She quickly clicks to open what she hopes and prays will be a yes to her most recent article she's submitted to yet another magazine. An article that took her about four hours to compile around 1,000 words. Four hours of pouring out her heart and soul via the computer keys as her children begged for her attention. She would look up from time to time to acknowledge their silly antics and break up sibling squabbles. She didn't reread her own work as much as she knew she should, before she submitted it. She hopes the editor doesn't mind editing.

          She prays they accept this work of hers because truthfully, she could really use the money. She's beginning to consider putting her writing dreams on the shelf and getting a more stable job, or perhaps selling off the majority of her possessions. She wants to pay off her debt, sell her house, buy some land, grow food, and spend more quality time with her children. She doesn't want to check her email 18 times a day only to have her hopes come crashing down the moment she reads the polite rejection notice, like the one that's come today.

           Tears quietly slide down her cheeks. It's not just her writing that's been rejected, it's her. She isn't smart enough, not creative enough, she just isn't enough. She hears her daughter calling out from the other room, quickly she dries her eyes, takes a deep breath and goes to attend to her child. "At least I'm enough for her." she thinks. She'd rather receive a thousand emails rejecting her written thoughts, than do her children wrong and someday be rejected by them.