Depression
the thoughts are heavy
the suicidal frequency
is messing with my soundwaves
with all the truth I have shed
I have only a drop of blood
left
my velvet stained sleeves baptized in the blood of my broken done heart
my crimson ink
drying up and emotionally numb
I don't want to hurt myself
I just want to silence these thoughts
the rain cloud is thick and heavy
pouring liquated metal
atrophying in my cocoon
of feelings
turn hard
heart going in a fetal position
hands enfolded across my breast
laying my soul
to rest
the angel of life
has to come and finally
tilt my eyelids shut
my skin
going cold
slowly pulling the sheets
over my head
and cry
and I beg you to let me out of this hell
help me please
I can't keep holding on
the fight is too much
the darkness
crawling and suck all
of my breath
swallowing
the last
gulp
of the crisp
a thick and opaque air of depression
raining a rainfall of
tears
flooding up the room
tears flowing
streaming
into the river
of old tears
heart feels heavy
like it's drowning
to the pit
of disparity
and unworthiness
my stomached
bursting
to the gut
with thoughts
and emotion
that i can't get out
pushing my fingers down
my throat until
I puke up these feelings
till I taste the puke
of tasteless
words
taste buds tinged and taste of
depression
eyes grey and still -born and drained
of its light
the smile that was there disappeared
the voices sound like the demons in my head
depression this transgression
that I can't get rid of
this thorn in the flesh
that makes it hard
for me to get out
of bed
thoughts
arthic
faith
of things will get better
heart beat is stagnant
Tyla you don't want to hurt yourself
Tyla your not suicidal
put the knife down
put it down
I have to kill myself
they said I have too
who the voices
in my head
they said if I don't kill myself
I would be a liar
and letting depression down
and you don't want to let depression
down because it will just get nothing but worse
come on
your better than this
you fought the voices each time
you can fight them
go to the ring
and give em hell
she tried to hang herself on the same rope that she used to hang on for hope
until it snapped in half just like her mind