Silence.

The noise is inescapable. It sounds like a swarm of a thousand angry bees buzzing around my head, clouding my thoughts and silencing my voice. Some days it’s so loud I can’t even get out of bed because I can’t think clearly enough. On other days it’s better – reduced to a faint background hum that allows me to carry on with my daily life. Most days though, it’s kind of just there, a small reminder that I’ll never be rid of it. Today, though, the noise is different. It’s shrill and piercing, a little bit angry. Bad days often have that effect. The bees today just won’t stop. I’ve tried telling them that the noise does nothing but hinder me, but I don’t really think that they care. I don’t know what it is about the noise that bothers me so much. Maybe it’s because it never stops. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m the only one who can hear it – and maybe I am the only one who can’t shut off the noise in her head. But regardless, it’s there and it hurts, and I’m never going to get rid of it.

I try and explain it to someone. He doesn’t get it. He tells me to just turn it off. But it’s not that easy. We argue, and the noise just gets louder. A friend of mine hears the argument and taps me on the shoulder. The tap reverberates through my mind and for a moment the noise dulls down.

“Mine is elephants,” she says.

“What?”

“My noise. My brain sounds like a pair of elephants are stomping through my mind.”

“Oh. You can hear it too?”

She nods. “Everyone’s noise sounds like something.”

I took a moment to think about it – and although the swarming bees keep going, keep buzzing louder and louder and louder – I feel a little twinge of relief. I take my friend’s hand and for a moment there is complete and utter S I L E N C E.

And the silence is uncomfortable. I pull my hand away and the noise starts again, building up a gradual crescendo. I suddenly feel a little bit better, a little bit more comfortable with the noise. Maybe I don’t mind it so much after all. Maybe the bees will listen if I know what to tell them. To be honest, I’m not really sure. Maybe I’ll get used to it.