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John Dryden once wrote that good satire is not offensive since the wise enjoy it and the fool doesn’t recognize it. That it’s one thing to butcher and another to cut so keenly you decapitate while leaving the head in place. “The Onion” has been delivering wonderful parodies of mainstream journalism since 1988. Their work is a careful balance of realism, wit, irreverence, and humor. To complete this challenge, write an Onion-esque satirical news article or advertisement. 75 coins “cash” prize!
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landru in Comedy
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Survey Reveals Sheer Pointlessness of Surveys

A new survey conducted by the National Institute of Surveys revealed today that all surveys are pretty much pointless.

The survey took what was supposedly an accurate cross section of the population, but what was really just a sampling of bored people who had nothing better to do than respond to random internet surveys, and asked them their opinions on surveys.

Of the people surveyed, 63% of people said that they distrusted the results of surveys, 27 percent said they trusted surveys, and 10 percent of people said that they were only responding to the survey because there was a 15$ gift certificate to KFC included if they answered.   Surprisingly, an additional 4% responded affirmatively after the survey was over, which made us wonder if the survey team was really all that qualified.

In addition, most people who proofread and edited this article also found surveys pointless.

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