True Culprits of Global Warming Found, Real Estate Agents

New believers of global warming, big business politicians have been on the warpath looking for someone else to blame.  A group of house representatives funded by the oil and gas industry led the charge employing private investigators to find the parties responsible for the reported increase in temperatures across the globe.  One of the representatives, requesting their name be withheld,  stated that "recent studies by very knowledgeable environmental scientists have made it harder to call global warming a hoax."  Another representative, whose biggest campaign contributor was Exxon Mobile, said: "our next big step is not to find ways to prevent or to reverse the effects of global warming but to find the people responsible!"

After five long days of extensive investigation, the architects of global warming were finally found to be real estate agents.  An investigator on the successful team, Findita Nowl, explained their reasoning for the conclusion.  "The latest projections for Earth after 20 years show massive new beaches, and we all know who stands to profit from new beach front property!"  Although the fingers have been pointed, no arrests of real estate agents have been made.  

In another related story, news outlets are being accused of the rise in scandalous behavior among politicians.