Food & Fashion-Texting is Chic

The National Office of Science in Human Intellectual Texting, known as NO SHIT has released their findings on the Positive Aspects of Texting in Society or PATS. Ninety-One people participated in the study over the last six months. Per scientists, participants were evenly divided, forty-six males and forty-five females. No participants were older than 31 years of age, and 97% had accounts on Tinder. There is a 3% margin of error calculated into the study because of those participants, or 2.73 people, own flip phones.

The purpose of the study was to show the positive mental effects of Texting during one's normal day. 89% of the participants say they no longer engage in idle conversation with the people they are with when eating in restaurants. Some restaurants complain patrons take longer to eat because they are busy texting and not eating. Restaurateurs say people are no longer enjoying the dining out experience. Some claim texting is disruptive to fellow diners. Others find it chic to text.

A new establishment in posh Beverly Hills, The PicUPLATE, is the first of its kind. "Sit down take out," is how owner Moishe Yamagata describes his brainchild. He is credited with creating the latest food craze in Japan, "Fried Air." Moishe's quote, "You can't see it, you can't taste it, but it's all around you and comes in 8 flavors."

At PicUPLATE, food lovers enjoy an ambiance similar to Armageddon where they sit down and order one of 20-four course meals. Each course is specially prepared and brought to the table where patrons take two pictures of each course using their cell phones. The server whisks the food away and pours it into a take out container. Between courses, patrons text others about their food experience. No eating is allowed while dining at the PUP, which reduces the costs of having utensils or napkins says, Yamagata. At the end of the gastronomical experience, each patron leaves with four food containers. They leave refreshed and hungry.

Yamagata says The PicUPLATE is booked for the next four months and the cost is $150 per 4-course meal.

Another innovative study deals with a combination of fashion, outdoor activities, and texting. This takes us to Silicon Valley and a start-up company called, LOOK OUT. They have developed a thin layered bodysuit which can be worn even while in a swimming pool. The suit is fitted with 300 tiny sensors strategically placed. The wearer of a LOOK OUT bodysuit is able to walk or hike anywhere without taking their eyes off their phone. Each sensor has a small pin embedded on each tip. If there is a potential danger that the wearer is straying into traffic or walking off a cliff, the 300 sensors will immediately activate and lightly jab the wearer's body. "It feels like a little pinprick times 300," says Peter Gasman. The company says 100 of the 300 sensors are placed on and around the genital areas for shock purposes and not for stimulation. Mr. Gasman says that the LOOK OUT bodysuit will not activate in a horizontal position.

The founder's son, Peter "Stump" Gasman was emotional during the interview and told us, "This has been a long time coming but the LOOK OUT bodysuit is ready for market. My father would have been proud. I dedicate this product to him," says Stump.

"The actual work on the LOOK OUT began when I was texting him in response to his text. He was in his office standing by the window, right up there," he points to a second-floor window overlooking the factory. "We keep our single engine Cessna here in the factory and Fred, our mechanic was working on the plane that day. Mistakenly, while responding to my father's text, I walked into a propeller blade." 

He held up his right arm which no longer sports a right hand, hence "Stump."

"Two months later, after I got out of the hospital, I discovered my father was hiking on the rim of the Grand Canyon. It was a rainy day and the authorities said conditions were dangerous. I texted him.

The LOOK OUT bodysuit will save countless lives. Crossing streets, standing on escalators, hiking like my dumb father, or just out for a morning walk without any regard for your environment. We are working on the next generation prototype called, 'Texting & Driving-No Problem.' That one is a little dicey but we think we can pull it off. Currently, we are also in discussions with Versace to make a LOOK OUT bodysuit for outerwear. Sometime in the near future, we will launch an IPO."

The NO SHIT study further shows that texting can help people develop an attitude of total disregard for other human beings, a heightened level of rudeness, and can also help strengthen your thumbs.

There is a slight chance, but no clinical evidence to support this, that texting may help with either weight loss or weight gain. Currently, a spokesperson from NO SHIT says when the company receives their one million dollar Federal Grant money check, which is in the mail, studies will begin. It is titled, "Fingers Do More Than You Realize."