I have never felt this thing of not being comprehended before so strong like now. I wish my words did not make so much confusion as I already do, my mind twisting side to side, feeling lack of vocabulary or just preparation.
Love is hard to explain and, worst, to accept. It can come in many shapes and ways but everyone has it own. To identify the woman of your life? Easy. To be with her for the rest of your life? Hard.
I already found the woman of my life, the girl that will push me forward, will help me, will love me for who I am, make me smile and laugh like nobody does and etc. but I am too weak, too coward, too idiot.
Words like to play games with me, like to give me hope of being understood but the truth is, I am an idiot... I deserve no such thing as love, I used to treat this woman like a princess, like she was my everything and now I just feel I'm acting like an asshole with her every time.
I'm tired of being mad at myself for saying things that I didn't want or saying things and it goes out in a wrong way.
There are 2 certainties in this world:
1) I will die someday
2) I love you more than anything I felt or will feel in my hole life.
I don't expect you to trust me or whatever... I just wanted to be the one who runs away because he thinks he ruined everything and cry all night about losing the only thing that he promised not to lose: YOU.