Flipping pancakes

“Fired?!”

I stared at her in disbelief.

“I don’t understand.”

She crossed her arms and stared me down, unsympathetically.

“I think you do.”

“You’re the firm’s lawyer. Isn’t it your job to protect me?”

“It’s my job to protect the firm’s interest. If you don’t understand that, Elliott and Croswaithe was never the right place for you.”

I buried my head in my hands. This couldn’t be happening. I had done everything by the book. How had it had gone so horribly wrong?

“Your exit interview will be at 8am tomorrow. Please be punctual.”

She stood up and I lifted my head to look at her. She was gesturing to someone behind me. I turned. It was a security guard, waiting outside her office, the glass walls allowing him to watch us unobserved. He came in and stood next to me. He wasn’t moving but he stood so close to me that I understood the threat. Patricia looked at me with narrowed eyes. They had worked intimidation down to an art form.

I stood up and walked out slowly.

The office was unusually quiet. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked down the corridor. I felt like a prisoner on death row.

It couldn’t end like this. I looked around desperately.

The restroom was coming up ahead. I sped up slightly. It took the burly security guard a moment to increase his pace but the gap was all I needed to duck sideways into the open doorway. I heard him grunt with frustration as I ran in.

Ha!

It was a small victory but it was all I had. And it had bought me some time.

I rushed into one of the stalls and called Kay.

“Kayla Schmidt” she said pleasantly into the phone.

“Kay, it’s me!” I said quickly.

“What is going on?” she muttered into the phone.

“They’re firing me.”

“What?” her voice dropped down to a whisper. “Oh my gosh! I’m going to lose my apartment. I’ll have to move back to Atlanta. Oh fish. Flipping pancakes.”

Flipping pancakes was the Kay’s equivalent of Defcon 1. She had been brought up in a strict Southern household and no matter how upset she got, she couldn’t find it in herself to curse. I was born and raised in the city and cursed freely. It was odd that we were best friends, but I didn’t have time to reminisce over that.

“You’re fine”, I said, “I didn’t tell them about you.”

She was quiet for a minute. Then she sniffed. I realized she was crying.

“Stop that!” I hissed at her, “if they find out that you are talking to me, they’ll toss you out right now.”

She stopped.

“Kay” I said desperately, “All the evidence is in my desk drawer. I can’t get it out now. Will you lock it and take the key? I’ll meet you at the Wheeltapper after work."

“Okay” she said. I could hear her turning the key. “Done."

“Thanks” I said. “I gotta go.”

Not a moment too soon. A female security guard walked in.

“You can’t stay in there forever” she said.

“I don’t want to leave like this”, I said. “Escorted out of the building. Just let me get my coat and my handbag and I’ll leave myself.”

“Don’t bother”, she said, “I have your coat and bag right here. You have two minutes to leave the building. And don’t even think about trying to take anything else with you.”

I unlocked the door and came out. She didn’t make any move to stop me. I went straight to the elevator. I was out of the building in less than a minute.

I had been drinking at the Wheeltapper for several hours when Kay walked in. She gave me an apologetic smile and put a set of keys on the table.

“Thanks” I slurred.

“I moved the files. Don’t worry, no one saw me”, she said, looking around nervously, “Also, I locked your drawers again, just to throw them off. I think they might break into your desk tonight, after everyone leaves.”

“That’s clever”, I said. “You should go. I wouldn’t put it past them to have you followed.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“I dunno.”

“Pat's really mad about the whole thing. The partners think you showed her up with your bathroom stunt. Someone overheard her saying that she is bringing in the big guns for your exit interview.”

I shrugged.

“I really just don’t care anymore. Peter is a lying, cheating, morally decrepit turd. His client is defrauding that pension fund and he is actively helping him hide the money overseas. I’ve got the proof and I was naive to think that they didn’t know and would do something when they found out. All they care about is billable hours. Well, I’ll go to the Attorney General if I have to. If they don’t care about the law, they have no right to be lawyers."

“I’m scared”, said Kay.

“Don’t be, you’re out of it now. You’ve done enough”, I said reassuringly.

She left quickly. The waitress brought my next round. And then several rounds after that.

I’m not sure how long he had been sitting at the bar by himself. But I knew that I had been drinking alone at that table for too long. And he was handsome. So when he came up to me, and asked if he could join me, I could think of nothing I wanted more.

He looked at me and chuckled.

“Banker, lawyer or hedge fund?”

“Am I that obvious?”

“Armani suit. Cartier watch. Prada bag. And you look utterly miserable. So that’s a definite yes.”

I smiled at him and he beamed back at me.

“Lawyer. And you, happy face, what do you do?”

He chuckled.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever called me that before. I’m a lawyer too.”

“You any good?”

“I like to think so. Otherwise, my parents wasted a lot of money on law school."

“Where did you go?”

“Yale.”

“Solid safety school.”

He burst out laughing. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had laughed with me, I liked it.

“Let me guess, you went to Harvard” he said, shaking his head.

I nodded. “I did, and it wasn’t easy. I grew up on the lower East Side- in the projects, not the village. I earned my right to go Harvard by studying my ass off.”

“Not completely, I hope” he teased, peeking around me.

I was several drinks down.

“Do you want to come home with me?” I said bluntly.

“What?” he looked at me, startled.

Embarrassed, I stared down at my glass.

He put his hand over mine, reassuringly.

“I’m not judging, I’m just surprised. And to answer your question- yes, yes I do. I’m really glad you said that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s hard being a guy and having to read all these subtle signals, never knowing when to ask, not wanting to push. I really like you but I would definitely not have had the nerve to ask right off the bat. But I think there is something I need to know.”

“What?”

“Your name.”

I laughed and he joined in.

“Alex."

“Hi Alex, I’m Joe. Would you like to have one for the road?”

I smiled and nodded.

“You have such a lovely smile. Why were you so sad when I walked in? Please say anything except a bad break up. I really don’t want to be your rebound guy. Rebound relationships never work.”

I chuckled.

“Well, yes and no. It was awful break up. But not with a guy. With my firm. They are firing me.”

“You’re a Harvard graduate, why would anyone fire you?”

“We get fired too, you know. But I found out that something that one of the partners had been doing. And it’s illegal. So I reported him to my supervisor and instead of doing anything about him, they decided to fire me instead.”

“Maybe I can help? I mean, I know I only went to Yale, but still, I am a lawyer too, you know. ”

I shook my head.

“Thank you, that’s a really nice thing to say but I don’t want to involve anyone else in my mess.”

“What if I want to be involved in your mess?”

I think I fell in love with him in that moment.

“Tell me, I’ll help if I can. What did this guy do?”

“His client is stealing money from a pension fund and he is helping.”

He raised his hands.

“Just to play devil’s advocate, let’s say that’s true. He is a lawyer, it’s his job to defend his client, no matter how morally repugnant it may be to him.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that. He actually helped his client to hide the stolen funds. And he’s taking a cut. What he is doing is illegal.”

“Do you have proof?”

“Yes.”

“In a safe place, I hope.”

“I guess so.”

“You guess so?” he raised his eyebrows quizzically.

“I don’t know where it is. My friend Kay hid it for me.”

“She sounds like a good friend.”

“She’s the best.”

“Nooo!” he protested, "I want to be the best, what do I gotta do to beat out Kayla?”

I laughed.

“I’m not sure, she’s a really good friend.”

“I’m paying the tab. Then we’re going to your place. I think I can give your friend a run for her money.”

“Fine by me” I struggled to stand up as he walked to the bar.

He came back with my credit card and helped me up. We put on our coats and stumbled out of the door. It took less than a minute for him to hail a cab and in less than ten, we were in my apartment tearing each other’s clothes off.

“You weren’t exaggerating”, I said, lying back and pulling up the sheet. “That was amazing. I think my whole crappy day was worth it, just for that one moment.”

“One moment?! You were yelling for a good ten minutes!”

I laughed and he joined in. He pulled me closer to him, and his chest felt warm against my back. It was nice.

“Don’t worry. Everything will work itself out, it always does.”

“I hope so” I said sadly, “but I’m scared.”

“Of what? They can’t disbar you for doing the right thing. And the next firm will see that you are not only intelligent and honest but also incredibly brave. And your friend too.”

“The firm doesn’t know that she had anything to do with it.”

“Good, keep it that way. Maybe she can be your man on the inside, in a manner of speaking.”

“I don’t know. She’s done so much already.”

“She hid the evidence. I’m not saying that that’s nothing, but it’s not that much either. It’s not like she helped you to collect the evidence.”

I looked guilty.

“She did, didn’t she?”

“She was the one who noticed that money was going missing from the pension fund. She made copies of their internal statements.”

He shook his head.

“That’s totally illegal.”

“I know” I said, “but she did it for the right reasons. She took a big risk so I need to keep her safe now.”

“Who’s gonna keep you safe?”

I didn’t answer.

“Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I gotta go, I have an early meeting.”

He rolled me onto my back and kissed me.

“But I’ll see you tomorrow” he looked at his watch, “or today actually.”

“You will?”

“Yes, I will.”

He rolled off the bed and got dressed quickly. He blew me a kiss and left.

I looked at the clock, it was 5am. I had to be in the office in three hours.

“Ugh!”

There was no point in trying to sleep it off. I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up. Then I had a shower and made myself some coffee. Several cups later, I was exhausted but I didn’t feel drunk anymore. It was 7am. I changed and headed to work.

It was cold out and I walked slowly. I was seven thirty by the time I got there. I signed in at the front desk and waited. I recognized the burly security guard who came down a few minutes later. I smiled at him but he just stared at me indifferently.

“Let’s go”, he said, pointing to the elevators and I followed him obediently.

When we got upstairs, he led me to one of the main conference rooms.

That was odd.

I walked in and sat down. A few moments later, Kay walked in. She saw me and froze.

“What’s going on?” she asked nervously.

“I have no idea”, I said.

Patricia walked in.

“Please have a seat”, she said to Kayla.

“Why is she here?” I asked but Patricia ignored me.

Kayla sat down nervously on a chair at the far end of the room.

Joe walked in.

“Joe?” I said, stunned, “what are you doing here?”

He smiled at me. “Hi Alex, told you I’d see you today. I bet you didn’t think it would be so soon!”

I looked between him and Pat, who was smiling smugly.

“No!” I said, my heart sinking, “no.”

He laughed loudly.

Sober now, I realized that his laugh didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was a cruel, mocking laugh devoid of any happiness. What had I done?

I turned to Kay in a panic.

“Don’t say anything!” I said and she shrunk back further into her chair, clearly terrified.

Joe smiled at her.

“Don’t worry Kayla, you don’t have to say anything, we already know you helped Alex. She told us everything.”

I shook my head at her and she smiled at me, bravely.

“I don’t believe you”, she said to Joe. “If you knew that, you’d have fired me already. I wouldn’t be here.”

“You’re wrong Kay- do you mind if I call you Kay?” he asked. He continued without waiting for a response, “Alex told us that you illegally photocopied your clients internal statements and shared them with her. Did you know that you could be disbarred for that?"

She looked at me, stung at my betrayal. How could I explain to her what I had done?

"She also told us that you are the only one who knows where the evidence is hidden, and that my dear, is why we are here. Give us the evidence and you can walk out of this room right now. Or we can have a different discussion.”

“Flipping pancakes” she said, staring at me in disbelief.

“You should do it, Kay”, I said softly, ignoring the pain in my chest. “It’s your only way out of here.”

“I don’t need advice from you”, she said coldly.

She pulled a set of keys out of her bag and tossed them on the table.

“It’s in the file room. In the drawer labeled Miller. It is the key at the end.”

Joe pointed at the door and smiled. “You’ll go far at Elliott and Croswaithe.”

She left without a backward glance and they looked at me.

“Sign this”, said Patricia nastily, pushing a piece of paper towards me.

I skimmed through the document.

I couldn’t help myself; I looked at Joe for help.

My Joe- the one I had taken home last night. Joe, who had pulled me out of despair with his laugh, Joe, who wanted to be in my mess, Joe, whom I had fallen in love with.

But in the cold light of day, that Joe didn’t exist.

He looked at me, his expression full of malice and pushed a pen towards me. He was almost salivating with eagerness as he watched me pick it up. It was more hurtful than anything he could have said.

I signed it and pushed the paper back towards him.

It was over. I had lost.